Shell without soul

There is a point in life where you realised that life is meaningless. You do not know what is the right thing to do or you should do. Probably when your life is too routine.. no more excitement... no more motivation.. no more direction.. you just feel meaningless in living anymore. Not that I am going to commit suicide or what.. but just feeling like living in a shell without a soul. Where the shell brings me, there I go. What the shell wants me to do, I just do it. To be honest, at times I feel or see nothing in my future. It's totally blank and empty. When you can't see what is waiting for you in the future, you tend to have a fear. Fear of failure.. fear of making a wrong decision.. fear of turning back ...fear of losing everything you have and will have. Sometimes feeling and guts will make us make some irrational decision. Knowing that it is irrational, but we still choose to do it. Because I prefer to trust my feeling and guts than rationality. I want to do things that my feeling and guts tell me. I do not want to have regret later for not trusting my feeling and guts. Even if one day, my decision is wrong.. at least I have tried and feeling no regret.

It's not that I do not want what I want in life.. but sometimes things around us tend to make us doubt if that is what we want in life. Can I achieve all the things and plans I have for myself? What if I don't? Am I going to lose everything I have now? Being 25 years old this year and I still have no achievement at all, I feel useless. Looking at my friends... some of them have achieved what they want... some of them have proceed to another stage of life... some of them have started their family... some of them have moved to the top... and here am I... achieve nothing yet. Sometimes it makes me think ...am I too demanding in life? Am I too stubborn in life? Am I looking too high on myself? Am I being too perfectionist in life? Perhaps I should really sit down and think about my capabilities.. Perhaps I should be less demanding... Perhaps I should learn to accept people's suggestion... Perhaps I should put down all my greedy demand and live a simpler life... Perhaps living a simpler life and demand less would be easier and happier... Perhaps I should put down my urge for perfect lifestyle and settle down... Perhaps I should learn to accept than just giving... Perhaps... perhaps... perhaps... But if I put all these perhaps into action, will I be happier?