Sitting in front of my computer... chatting on msn...listening to Daniel Powter's Best of Me... a nice song! Trying to search for the lyric... wanting to know what this song is about... I just came back from a nice dinner with my best friends. It's been months since I met them. The best thing was we actually stayed very near to each other. I always said that "So near yet so far"... hahaha.. Life is like this when we stepped into a different stage of life. Things changes around us. We do not longer spend more time with each other, but we know that we still love each other and will be there for each other. The wonder of friendship!
We were talking about lot of stuffs tonight. Most of them were relationship issues. Oh well, we are in the stage of life where relationship is part of us. I raised this question to them, asking how many of them are willing to let go their current relationship to achieve their dreams? And to my surprise, there were none of them. Relationship has become part of their life. Of course they do.. When come to think of it, I think I will do the same. How to let go of a beautiful relationship just because of your dream? What if your dream never comes true and yet you lose someone you love dearly? I had seen many of my friends who chose to let go their dreams because of relationship. Their life is not sparkling like how they used to be last time. It was like they had lost the brightness in their life. I do not know but I certainly do not wish that to happen to me. I know that if I were to involve in a relationship, mostly I would give up my dreams too. I think we can't have both things at the same time. Most of the people would want to go to other place and start their new life.... travelling around the world... as for me, I want to start my new life in somewhere else. I want to change the environment around me now. I do not like the environment I am living now. That is my dream. If I were to involve in a relationship, I know my dream will shatter. How many people would let go their everything just to follow your dream? What if you can't let go of the person you love? Meaning you need to let go your dream. Then I will lose my brightness... hahaha... unless I manage to find someone who share the same dream as me. I think I should start listing down a list of requirement in order to love shireen ng... hahaha... And okayyy coming back to my dinner... we also decided to go for clubbing this saturday night. It has been a long time since we went to club together. I guess it will be another hang over night for us.
And finally managed to get Daniel Powter's Best of Me lyric...
I was made the wrong way, won't you do me the right way
Where you gonna be tonight, 'cause I won’t stay too long
Maybe you're the life for me, when you talk to me it strikes me
Won't somebody help me, 'cause I don't feel too strong
Was it something that I said, was it something that I did
Or the combination of both that did me in
You know I'm hoping you'll sing along, though it’s not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again, when you do you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And I hate the thought of finally been erased
Baby that's best of me
Everything's behind you, but the hopeless sign's beside you
I’m livin’ in the moment, have I wasted all your time
Was it something that I said, was it something that I did
Or the combination of both that did me in
You know I am hoping you'll sing along, though it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again, when you do you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And I hate the thought of finally been erased
But baby that's the best of me
Baby that's the best of me
You know I am hoping you'll sing along, though it’s not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again, when you do you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And I hate the thought of finally being erased
Baby that's best of me
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
37 days to go before year 2009...
It's end of the year now... another 37 days to go before we step into the year 2009. This is time where people started talking about new year resolution... holidays... increment and bonuses... We can't run away from these issues. It is like a yearly routine. Everyone will come out with their new year resolution.. "I want to buy new car" ... "I want to graduate this year!"... "I want to go to Europe for holiday"... "I want to get a new gf/bf". I used to do this too... but to be honest, I think most of them went go down into the drain. Oh come on... it was just a resolution. People just have it because everyone is having it. Who wants to be the odd one? So my new year resolution for year 2009 would be....hmm..let me think... " To graduate? I am going to be..definitely!"... erm... "To buy a new mobile? Is that necessary? Nah....I think I will cancel this off"... "To go to Bali for a holiday trip? Almost paid for it.. need time to reconsider"... "To set up a business venture with my friends? Maybe.. it's time to take risk now, or I will be sitting in the office forever".... What else I want in year 2009... Can't really think of anymore now.. to be continued...
Increment and bonuses is always an important issue when comes to end of the year. Everyone will be wondering if the company will give out increment and bonuses as an incentive to the one year hard work and effort. Comes to think of it, it's been 2 years since I received my last bonus. Wow... 2 years without bonus... actually it was pretty bad for me. Whenever comes to new year, it is the time to spend more money. This is why I hate new year... especially comes to Chinese New Year... sigh... money just flung out easily and faster. Really wish this year will be the year where shireen ng receive bonus... hahha... Some people will say that bonus only will be given out if the company is performing and the staff must perform very well to deserve that. But come to the fact, how would the staff knows if the company is profitable or not. Not that the company is going to show their accounts to the staff. And bonuses should be adjusted or budgeted monthly in the accounts. There is no reason why bonuses should not be given out if the company is not performing. Moreover, bonus is an incentives to motivate the staff to work harder in the coming year. Without bonus, I strongly believe that the staff will never work harder or perform better for the company. Come on... just the matter of few thousands dollar... take it out and make everyone happy!
Increment and bonuses is always an important issue when comes to end of the year. Everyone will be wondering if the company will give out increment and bonuses as an incentive to the one year hard work and effort. Comes to think of it, it's been 2 years since I received my last bonus. Wow... 2 years without bonus... actually it was pretty bad for me. Whenever comes to new year, it is the time to spend more money. This is why I hate new year... especially comes to Chinese New Year... sigh... money just flung out easily and faster. Really wish this year will be the year where shireen ng receive bonus... hahha... Some people will say that bonus only will be given out if the company is performing and the staff must perform very well to deserve that. But come to the fact, how would the staff knows if the company is profitable or not. Not that the company is going to show their accounts to the staff. And bonuses should be adjusted or budgeted monthly in the accounts. There is no reason why bonuses should not be given out if the company is not performing. Moreover, bonus is an incentives to motivate the staff to work harder in the coming year. Without bonus, I strongly believe that the staff will never work harder or perform better for the company. Come on... just the matter of few thousands dollar... take it out and make everyone happy!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
One sex relationship?
Today I read this articles from the newspaper that saying part time model divorced husband and lived together with a tomboy who resembled her favourite male singer. I do not know why but recently there were many cases that showing to me that one sex relationship is spreading all around. Female with female? Male with male? What is the logic behind these "special" relationship? How can two same sex creature fall in love with each other? What is the special connection and bonding they have between them? Hmm... I always wonder how is the feeling when falling in love with the same gender people. It's not I am discriminating them. I respected them like how I respected everyone. I accepted one sex relationship because I know that sometimes we cannot stop our feeling and urge. Some people were born male when their inner character was a woman. Like how I always said, " Man in the body of a woman". It is a good thing that they were able to express themselves and be truthful to themselves.
But of course there were some people who are not born to be in this "special"relationship, they just wanted to follow the trend. If the trend now is one sex relationship, then some of them will definitely go for it. I think this is totally insane. One of my friends once told me that all the women in the world are bisexual. Is this true? Then how about the men? Aren't they supposed to be bisexual too? Things are getting more complicated now. I had seen many of my friends are falling into the one sex relationship. Some of them were born to be... some of them because of failure in two sex relationship... some of them because they hate man. I had never been involved in one sex relationship. Not because I discriminate them or not because I think one sex relationship is inhealthy, but I just do not fall into it. I do not have feeling over woman. Maybe because I am a woman in a woman's body. Therefore I only fall in love with man....
I will not assure that I might fall into the one sex relationship in future. We can't control the feeling that come and go. Who knows maybe one day the feeling comes. I will never say no to one sex relationship just for the sake of fear or worry over what others think of me. For now, I will say no because I do not have that feeling towards women yet. One of my friends told me that he is fear that I will step into the one sex relationship. After several failed relationship with man, he is worry that I will look out for woman instead. Haha.... what I can say for now is I am still interested in man. Ermm... maybe I should pay a visit to the gay and lesbian club one day. Let's see if those gay and lesbian can trigger me on. Haha... but I heard that gays are normally very good looking and have a high professional career. What a waste! Damn... Looks like I am more suitable to be a woman in the woman's body... :)
But of course there were some people who are not born to be in this "special"relationship, they just wanted to follow the trend. If the trend now is one sex relationship, then some of them will definitely go for it. I think this is totally insane. One of my friends once told me that all the women in the world are bisexual. Is this true? Then how about the men? Aren't they supposed to be bisexual too? Things are getting more complicated now. I had seen many of my friends are falling into the one sex relationship. Some of them were born to be... some of them because of failure in two sex relationship... some of them because they hate man. I had never been involved in one sex relationship. Not because I discriminate them or not because I think one sex relationship is inhealthy, but I just do not fall into it. I do not have feeling over woman. Maybe because I am a woman in a woman's body. Therefore I only fall in love with man....
I will not assure that I might fall into the one sex relationship in future. We can't control the feeling that come and go. Who knows maybe one day the feeling comes. I will never say no to one sex relationship just for the sake of fear or worry over what others think of me. For now, I will say no because I do not have that feeling towards women yet. One of my friends told me that he is fear that I will step into the one sex relationship. After several failed relationship with man, he is worry that I will look out for woman instead. Haha.... what I can say for now is I am still interested in man. Ermm... maybe I should pay a visit to the gay and lesbian club one day. Let's see if those gay and lesbian can trigger me on. Haha... but I heard that gays are normally very good looking and have a high professional career. What a waste! Damn... Looks like I am more suitable to be a woman in the woman's body... :)
Tiramisu....Anyone?
Today is the tiramisu day. Why Tiramisu? Because we are going to make tiramisu today. Wee Han invited me to go over Shaleeni's house tonight to make our own tiramisu. Yes, I am not a Tiramisu lover. Simple because I do not like coffee. I do not like bitterness in my life. Haha... yup, inclusive of bitterness experiences. This is why I always declared myself as "princess". Princess that cannot take any bitter in life. A princess that cannot tolerate with pain, bitter and sour in life. So called me princess Shireen... hahaha... and stop saying nonsenseeeeeee when you read this. I knew you will say it. Just shut up...
I think I heard from someone that tiramisu is a local delicacy back in Italy when the county was in war. The women in Italy used to make this tiramisu and sent it to their war fighter husband. Tiramisu was made from bread and coffee back then. A simple, cheap and delicious food which had became a big name today. Hmm... it would be wonderful if one day the food that I created now will become a big name in the future... hahahaha... I know.. I know... "Shireen do not even cook and she wants to create food that will become a big name in future? Dream on!" Well, do not cook now doesn't mean I won't cook in later time. People change, you know?
Just got the latest news that Victor is going to take over the ADP's portfolio. Before he announced the good news, I can see a bright big smile on his face. I knew that there must be something happy that he just got received and there he goes... The new ADP leader! I am still waiting for the official email from the management regarding this issue. Looks like he is really happy with this new arrangement. Well, it is good for him to take up ADP as well. He has been a very good mentor to all the ADP's students. His undying characters, motivation and highly spirit were more suitable to lead the American Degree Program. This mean my ADP's tshirt is now saved from being getting rotten under my table... hahaha...
Kudos, Sir! Finally, you made it....
I think I heard from someone that tiramisu is a local delicacy back in Italy when the county was in war. The women in Italy used to make this tiramisu and sent it to their war fighter husband. Tiramisu was made from bread and coffee back then. A simple, cheap and delicious food which had became a big name today. Hmm... it would be wonderful if one day the food that I created now will become a big name in the future... hahahaha... I know.. I know... "Shireen do not even cook and she wants to create food that will become a big name in future? Dream on!" Well, do not cook now doesn't mean I won't cook in later time. People change, you know?
Just got the latest news that Victor is going to take over the ADP's portfolio. Before he announced the good news, I can see a bright big smile on his face. I knew that there must be something happy that he just got received and there he goes... The new ADP leader! I am still waiting for the official email from the management regarding this issue. Looks like he is really happy with this new arrangement. Well, it is good for him to take up ADP as well. He has been a very good mentor to all the ADP's students. His undying characters, motivation and highly spirit were more suitable to lead the American Degree Program. This mean my ADP's tshirt is now saved from being getting rotten under my table... hahaha...
Kudos, Sir! Finally, you made it....
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
18th Nov 08 and it's Tuesday...
It has been days since I wrote something... Let me updated a lil about what had happened recently. As what I mentioned before, last saturday was the convocation day. I would say that apart from the last minute mess, overall, everything went well. It was a good day to celebrate their graduation. Finally, years of effort was paid off. Can't wait for my next year convocation! Maybe because of lack of rest and sleep, I got sick! The last weekend was a hell for me. I had a terrible sore throat... bad flu... come and go fever... sickening! It really tortured me. This is why I hate falling sick. Giving me no choice, I went to the doctor on Monday. The doctor was nice and friendly. I like this doctor... and it's a woman. No gender affection pls. And for the remaining 10 days, I am still under medication. Oh... there is one medicine that I enjoyed.. it's the flu medicine. Once I took it, after 15 minutes, I will get drowsy and go to sleep. I enjoy the sleeping force that given by the medicine.. hahaha... I had sleepless night since last Saturday.
Finally, I read finished the book "p/s I love you" and also the movie too. It was awesome! The book and the movie were slightly different from the plot. The book were a better version. It can touches my heart and made me cried as I read along. Actually, this is the first time I cried reading a book. Only one word to describe it, EXCELLENT. I am glad that I bought this book. It was worth keeping it. About the movie, I do not really enjoy it. It was too fast and the story line were somehow twisted. It do not made me cried like how the book did. But, it was a not bad movie afterall.
And I am back to work today. Still weak under medication but it's better to get out from my room and get some fresh air outside. I also received a greeting card from Jai... very sweet of him. Must be because of my depressed last weekend. Oh yes, not because of my sickness only, there are some other reasons that contributed to my depression. Sometimes being the eldest in the siblings was not as fun as how it looks. Eldest meaning bigger responsibilities and burden to be taken care of. Just that I am too tired to take up this responsibilities. At times, I really wish that I could leave everything here and go. Go to a place that no one knows me and I can live my life as how I prefer it to be. Sigh... I know that is impossible. Life is always unpredictable and responsibilities can help me to grow. What else can I do now? Stay and face reality! :(
Raza called me yesterday... He was telling me his first snow experience in Canada. Looks like he is enjoying himself there very well. I tried to imagine myself in his situation... I bet I will definitely stunned and amazed with my first snow experience. Haha... I felt much better after we spoke on the phone. At least I am listening to something new that I have no idea how it will be. It helped to bring me out of the boring conversation I had here. Something new to share...nice!
Finally, I read finished the book "p/s I love you" and also the movie too. It was awesome! The book and the movie were slightly different from the plot. The book were a better version. It can touches my heart and made me cried as I read along. Actually, this is the first time I cried reading a book. Only one word to describe it, EXCELLENT. I am glad that I bought this book. It was worth keeping it. About the movie, I do not really enjoy it. It was too fast and the story line were somehow twisted. It do not made me cried like how the book did. But, it was a not bad movie afterall.
And I am back to work today. Still weak under medication but it's better to get out from my room and get some fresh air outside. I also received a greeting card from Jai... very sweet of him. Must be because of my depressed last weekend. Oh yes, not because of my sickness only, there are some other reasons that contributed to my depression. Sometimes being the eldest in the siblings was not as fun as how it looks. Eldest meaning bigger responsibilities and burden to be taken care of. Just that I am too tired to take up this responsibilities. At times, I really wish that I could leave everything here and go. Go to a place that no one knows me and I can live my life as how I prefer it to be. Sigh... I know that is impossible. Life is always unpredictable and responsibilities can help me to grow. What else can I do now? Stay and face reality! :(
Raza called me yesterday... He was telling me his first snow experience in Canada. Looks like he is enjoying himself there very well. I tried to imagine myself in his situation... I bet I will definitely stunned and amazed with my first snow experience. Haha... I felt much better after we spoke on the phone. At least I am listening to something new that I have no idea how it will be. It helped to bring me out of the boring conversation I had here. Something new to share...nice!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
12th Nov 08.... and it's Wednesday...
It's been three times I had my lunch at the college cafe... What to comment on their food? Ermm... I would give them 3/5 rating because the quality was not that good. Except today's food... Japanese curry chicken rice.. It was better than those two times I had. Why would I still go and have my meal there since I am frustrated with the repainting? Cause I do not want to disappoint my juniors. I have to give them my supports... oh well, sometimes we just can't act according to our feeling. Uhmm... compromise...
Was talking to Brandon just now that we want to go for another movie marathon this Friday... this time is Madagascar 2 and maybe Tropic Thunder. I want to watch Twilight too.. must not miss that one. Especially after I had read the book... yup.. the final episode. Haha... still felt stupid that I did not aware of the series, and read the final episode without reading the first episode. There are lot of nice movie is coming up very soon... hmm... looks like my weekend outing will be movie marathon... hahaha.... and also reading book.. oh ya, I am reading the book by Cecelia Ahern again... this time is P/S I Love You... oh... it was a very nice book.. i just finish four chapters and it had made my cried. Very romantic and lil sad story. But I think the story is suppose to be a happy and touching ending. Can't wait to finish the book... cause I am going to watch the movie after I finish the book. Only after I finish the book.... :)
This saturday is the day everyone been waiting for... the convocation. Yes, the funny and last minute convocation. Well, looks like everything was in proper place now. Hopefully everything will goes well.. at least for the sake of the graduands. I will be working on that day itself...I need to wake up at 6.30am... IT'S 6.30AM... gosh... cause I need to pick up few friends and reach KL by 8.00am... it's even earlier than working day... ADP will also organise a booth to sell our ADP Tshirts and also the CD. I have to push the sales of the Tshirt. I want to have my money back asap...hmm... stuck there for like few months without moving at all.
My best friend is back to town! She just completed her final exam... and coming back for her holiday break. This time she wants to go clubbing with me... so I guess I have to bring her out this saturday night. I was planning to go to Avenue K.. the new four seasons club. Let see how cause the cover charge was not cheap.. if I am not mistaken, it is about 68 per person. I know... it's very expensive... lol... We also plan to have a all night girl's outing. She is going to get a free room in one of the service apartment in one of the weekend and we are going to have fun there.... food... champagne... beers.... oh... it's been a while since all of us gathered and have fun. Kinda miss it.. :)
Was talking to Brandon just now that we want to go for another movie marathon this Friday... this time is Madagascar 2 and maybe Tropic Thunder. I want to watch Twilight too.. must not miss that one. Especially after I had read the book... yup.. the final episode. Haha... still felt stupid that I did not aware of the series, and read the final episode without reading the first episode. There are lot of nice movie is coming up very soon... hmm... looks like my weekend outing will be movie marathon... hahaha.... and also reading book.. oh ya, I am reading the book by Cecelia Ahern again... this time is P/S I Love You... oh... it was a very nice book.. i just finish four chapters and it had made my cried. Very romantic and lil sad story. But I think the story is suppose to be a happy and touching ending. Can't wait to finish the book... cause I am going to watch the movie after I finish the book. Only after I finish the book.... :)
This saturday is the day everyone been waiting for... the convocation. Yes, the funny and last minute convocation. Well, looks like everything was in proper place now. Hopefully everything will goes well.. at least for the sake of the graduands. I will be working on that day itself...I need to wake up at 6.30am... IT'S 6.30AM... gosh... cause I need to pick up few friends and reach KL by 8.00am... it's even earlier than working day... ADP will also organise a booth to sell our ADP Tshirts and also the CD. I have to push the sales of the Tshirt. I want to have my money back asap...hmm... stuck there for like few months without moving at all.
My best friend is back to town! She just completed her final exam... and coming back for her holiday break. This time she wants to go clubbing with me... so I guess I have to bring her out this saturday night. I was planning to go to Avenue K.. the new four seasons club. Let see how cause the cover charge was not cheap.. if I am not mistaken, it is about 68 per person. I know... it's very expensive... lol... We also plan to have a all night girl's outing. She is going to get a free room in one of the service apartment in one of the weekend and we are going to have fun there.... food... champagne... beers.... oh... it's been a while since all of us gathered and have fun. Kinda miss it.. :)
Monday, November 10, 2008
If I were a boy... by Beyonce
And I love this song... She actually potrayed how a man treats a woman in relationship.. What men should do in order not to hurt the women... how women want men to be in a relationship... and I like the way she ends the song with men always be men... they will never change and always remain the same... they will never know what they lost... til they really lose it... and it will always too very late...
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home (to come home)
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (yea you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
Good Song! :)
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home (to come home)
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (yea you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
Good Song! :)
A great but tiring weekend.. and it's Monday again
Last Saturday, me and my friends went to Melaka for a makan trip. We left Klang around 11.15am and reached Melaka around 1.00pm. The first thing we did there was to eat the famous chicken rice ball. After that we went for a cendol dessert. Yummy! Melaka has the best cendol dessert. We also went for satay... satay celup... grill fish... I ate a lot on that trip. I think I must have gained lil weight. But it was worthy when comes to food. I reached home around 1am that day. My leg was aching due to excessive walking and I slept like a pig when I got home. It has been long since I go to Melaka last few months back. The next journey I think I will go to Penang since I got free air-ticket. Yes, must utilise it before it expired.
Ehm... one of my friend is leaving to Australia for holiday in the month of December... while another two friends are leaving to Cambodia in the month of February 09. Everyone is leaving for a nice and great holiday escape very soon. When can I redemn mine too? I want to go oversea for holiday too... I want to go to Dubai... Canada... Australia...Europe... Spain...to find my Mr.Right there.... arghh... too many places to go... I just can't leave like that... I need the money for future use... It is not wise of me to spend everything on a holiday trip, especially in the terrible global recession now. Can't even plan for a local holiday trip. It will cost me around 500-600 ringgit again... It's not worth to travel local with that sum of money. Better save it up for a oversea holiday trip in coming years... Sigh... What to do... just have to be patient for another 2 years... *keep my finger crossed*
Me and my friends were talking about the coming Christmas celebration. What we are gonna do for it? Normally me and my friends will go have good food and hang around a nice place. But this year things might be lil different. One of them is leaving to Australia... then two of them might wanna save some money for their coming trip... my sis is leaving to Thailand for Christmas... Damn... I do not want to spend Christmas alone... What can I do... think... think... ermm.. perhaps I should organise a home party and invite friends to my house... I wanna do something different this time... Turkey...red wine... champagne... candy... let's see what I can do... I had enough of clubbing and outing during Christmas unless there is something special or unique enough to tempt me..
I just came back from the marketing department... I couldn't believe with what I brought back with me to office. I was assigned to distribute flyers at Andalas School tomorrow at 4.30pm... moreover I am alone! What the f**k! At least send someone to accompany me. It's not that I mind to help them out, but please be reasonable. Alone distributing flyers?? I still cannot accept this... and the ppl in other departments just sitting in the office and doing nothing. I am coordinator... not marketing staff. I need to do something on this. Hope that my Head of department will voice out to the marketing department for me. This is total NONSENSEEEEEEEEEEE.... What they goin go do if something happen to me? Gosh... considerate sikit pls... would you send your own son or daughter alone to distribute flyers??
Stupid ppl... with stupidity ... what can I say more...
Ehm... one of my friend is leaving to Australia for holiday in the month of December... while another two friends are leaving to Cambodia in the month of February 09. Everyone is leaving for a nice and great holiday escape very soon. When can I redemn mine too? I want to go oversea for holiday too... I want to go to Dubai... Canada... Australia...Europe... Spain...to find my Mr.Right there.... arghh... too many places to go... I just can't leave like that... I need the money for future use... It is not wise of me to spend everything on a holiday trip, especially in the terrible global recession now. Can't even plan for a local holiday trip. It will cost me around 500-600 ringgit again... It's not worth to travel local with that sum of money. Better save it up for a oversea holiday trip in coming years... Sigh... What to do... just have to be patient for another 2 years... *keep my finger crossed*
Me and my friends were talking about the coming Christmas celebration. What we are gonna do for it? Normally me and my friends will go have good food and hang around a nice place. But this year things might be lil different. One of them is leaving to Australia... then two of them might wanna save some money for their coming trip... my sis is leaving to Thailand for Christmas... Damn... I do not want to spend Christmas alone... What can I do... think... think... ermm.. perhaps I should organise a home party and invite friends to my house... I wanna do something different this time... Turkey...red wine... champagne... candy... let's see what I can do... I had enough of clubbing and outing during Christmas unless there is something special or unique enough to tempt me..
I just came back from the marketing department... I couldn't believe with what I brought back with me to office. I was assigned to distribute flyers at Andalas School tomorrow at 4.30pm... moreover I am alone! What the f**k! At least send someone to accompany me. It's not that I mind to help them out, but please be reasonable. Alone distributing flyers?? I still cannot accept this... and the ppl in other departments just sitting in the office and doing nothing. I am coordinator... not marketing staff. I need to do something on this. Hope that my Head of department will voice out to the marketing department for me. This is total NONSENSEEEEEEEEEEE.... What they goin go do if something happen to me? Gosh... considerate sikit pls... would you send your own son or daughter alone to distribute flyers??
Stupid ppl... with stupidity ... what can I say more...
Thursday, November 6, 2008
6th Nov 08... and it's Thursday..
Another boring day... Hmm... I realised that everyday in office was a boring day. Damn... What should I do then? I do not want to sit down in the office and complain about this everyday. If this keep continiung, I think I really have reconsider of staying for another 2 years. A department without a head is definitely a disaster. I wonder if the position of Head of ADP department is been cursed. Whoever came, never lasted long. I am tired saying the same thing to students, "We still do not have a head yet. Coming soon... ". What is so difficult in getting a proper person to sit for it? The worst part now is conflict and politics is everywhere. I was stuck in between. As head of school of business, he is supposed to oversee the three business program in the college, but thing was not this way. Two different parties is giving different instructions. One side said he is only in charged of ECU and Dibs, while another one said he is in charged of ADP too. Confusion and dilemma I was now. I do not know who to listen to. I guess I will have to assist both of the head of school of business and acting head of ADP. I really do not know... It's alright I guess. I think I can handle both of them if provided the acting head was alright about it.
Finally, I stepped into the new cafe. Struggling between the persuasion of those juniors and my principles, I gave in to the persuasion. I do not want to disappoint them. They has been nice to me all these while. Fine.. alright.. I will go in. Overall, the cafe was doing good. Other than people complaint about the F&B are not that delicious. This why I haven't eat there before. Let's see their performance first before I give them my first time.
We are going for a movie titled "The Coffin", a Thai movie tomorrow night. It is a horror movie. Yes, I hate horror movie. But since it was Brandon's request, I decided to give it to him. Just a movie after all. What I will do there is to close my eyes with my hands, like how I always did. Haha.. It's been a long time I never watch a movie in cinema. The last time I watched in ciname was in Genting with Jai. And the movie we watched was the mirror. Gosh... that is a creepy movie. Eww... hopefully tomorrow night's movie won't cause me sleepless nights. Hmm... one thing bad about this was I am getting more friends who are very young than me. It was 4 years ... now it was 6 years different. Hmm... is this a good or bad sign?
I was doing the assessment of migration to Canada few days back. Apparently I scored 59/67 points that need to meet the requirement of entrance. I think if I can improve my english, then I can score 67/67 as what Raza had did for me. I was so eager to move there... I do not know why. Probably I just want to get out from here and look for something new out there. I am not sure if this is what good for me. But there is only one life in a lifetime, so I think I should do it if this is what I want. I do not want to regret in the future for not doing it. Probably I will wait til year 2010 and apply for a temporary working/holiday visa to Canada. Stay and work there for maybe one year and see if I am suitable there. If I do not like there, then I can come back here. People has been telling me that Australia will be a good place to go to. Australia... it's not that I do not like it, but I never thought of it. Maybe because I do not have friends there. Let's see how things goes in future. Maybe I shall put Australia in my second option. Although it is like one year from now, but I should start planning now if I really want it. Planning! First step now is to save money as much as possible.... meaning no more luxury holiday.. no more frequent outing... no more good and expansive food... FOOD... gosh.. TEMPTATION...
Finally, I stepped into the new cafe. Struggling between the persuasion of those juniors and my principles, I gave in to the persuasion. I do not want to disappoint them. They has been nice to me all these while. Fine.. alright.. I will go in. Overall, the cafe was doing good. Other than people complaint about the F&B are not that delicious. This why I haven't eat there before. Let's see their performance first before I give them my first time.
We are going for a movie titled "The Coffin", a Thai movie tomorrow night. It is a horror movie. Yes, I hate horror movie. But since it was Brandon's request, I decided to give it to him. Just a movie after all. What I will do there is to close my eyes with my hands, like how I always did. Haha.. It's been a long time I never watch a movie in cinema. The last time I watched in ciname was in Genting with Jai. And the movie we watched was the mirror. Gosh... that is a creepy movie. Eww... hopefully tomorrow night's movie won't cause me sleepless nights. Hmm... one thing bad about this was I am getting more friends who are very young than me. It was 4 years ... now it was 6 years different. Hmm... is this a good or bad sign?
I was doing the assessment of migration to Canada few days back. Apparently I scored 59/67 points that need to meet the requirement of entrance. I think if I can improve my english, then I can score 67/67 as what Raza had did for me. I was so eager to move there... I do not know why. Probably I just want to get out from here and look for something new out there. I am not sure if this is what good for me. But there is only one life in a lifetime, so I think I should do it if this is what I want. I do not want to regret in the future for not doing it. Probably I will wait til year 2010 and apply for a temporary working/holiday visa to Canada. Stay and work there for maybe one year and see if I am suitable there. If I do not like there, then I can come back here. People has been telling me that Australia will be a good place to go to. Australia... it's not that I do not like it, but I never thought of it. Maybe because I do not have friends there. Let's see how things goes in future. Maybe I shall put Australia in my second option. Although it is like one year from now, but I should start planning now if I really want it. Planning! First step now is to save money as much as possible.... meaning no more luxury holiday.. no more frequent outing... no more good and expansive food... FOOD... gosh.. TEMPTATION...
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Today in World's history...
and Obama won the US election. It was predicted after all. Who will have confident in Mc Cain? especially with Sarah Palin? Gosh... thanks God that the American is not blinded by the Mc Cain-Palin campaign. I has been following the election since last 2 months. This is the first time I actually started to show interest in politics. Oh well, it has been a big "hu ha" since last few months back. Now, let's see what Obama can do for America and the world. Hopefully he can brings the American Dream comes true. A majority voted winner.. wow... really a history making election. I am somehow felt glad that Obama won. I can't imagine if Mc Cain won the election. What the old man do for America? Other than fighting against terrorism. I am lil frustrated that I can't watch the live telecast in CNN. Wanted to watch Obama's speech after he claimed the victory. Argh... the college television was not functioning today. What a luck! Guess I have to wait until tonight then.
Today I went out lunch with my students/ juniors after the school exhibition. This is the first time I actually went out with them. It's kinda weird. But everything was still fine. A lil quiet but not that awkward. I am glad that we can actually sit down and have a chit chat. And the most funny part was they were asking me about my past relationship. Gosh... I can't believe those question they were asking me. I mean... "are you a virgin? When is your first kiss? Have you make out before?" Goodness sake, come on... those questions are so sensitive and private :-s
I decided to remain silent. However, they kept pestering me along the way back to college. God... I just shut my ears and walked back to college... :) Those kids... are kids after all. All thanks to that Mathew.. I am so going to get him...
Today I went out lunch with my students/ juniors after the school exhibition. This is the first time I actually went out with them. It's kinda weird. But everything was still fine. A lil quiet but not that awkward. I am glad that we can actually sit down and have a chit chat. And the most funny part was they were asking me about my past relationship. Gosh... I can't believe those question they were asking me. I mean... "are you a virgin? When is your first kiss? Have you make out before?" Goodness sake, come on... those questions are so sensitive and private :-s
I decided to remain silent. However, they kept pestering me along the way back to college. God... I just shut my ears and walked back to college... :) Those kids... are kids after all. All thanks to that Mathew.. I am so going to get him...
Monday, November 3, 2008
A disastrous town.. and it will last one more year...
Klang has been a disaster to all of us who are living here. The stupid town municipal has created a hell for all of us. Roads were closed and changed without any early notice. The construction of the new route is really killing everyone. It normally took me 15 minutes to reach klang, but now it took me more than 45 minutes. Can you imagine the hassles that I have to go through everyday? And the traffic jam is getting worst starts from now. It tooks at least one hour to reach klang now. I am very tired. I am really very tired with all these. All the hassles is creating a big impact on my life. I have become more hot-temper. I have become more easily irritated. I get sad and angry very fast now. I really do not like the me now. The negativities around me is making me more vulnerable now.
Now, every morning I have to think which way to use to avoid all the traffic jam. And when it's 5.30p, I have to think the way to avoid the jam. It has been my routine for now. What should I do now? It's a one year disaster time for me. Should I keep continued on what I am doing now? Or should I consider to move out and stay somewhere near? I really do not know. Arghhhh... I am so confused now. Sometimes I really wish I could just disappear just like that. I hate going through all these! Everything and everyone around me is giving me problems and troubles. Hey, I have my limits too. Come on, give me a break... I couldn't take them in anymore.
Think I have to really decide what I want in life. A fast growing pace of life with a stable life and income? Or a relaxing and slow pace of live with no high income or maybe affordable life. Stuck in between still. Haha... God help me.
Now, every morning I have to think which way to use to avoid all the traffic jam. And when it's 5.30p, I have to think the way to avoid the jam. It has been my routine for now. What should I do now? It's a one year disaster time for me. Should I keep continued on what I am doing now? Or should I consider to move out and stay somewhere near? I really do not know. Arghhhh... I am so confused now. Sometimes I really wish I could just disappear just like that. I hate going through all these! Everything and everyone around me is giving me problems and troubles. Hey, I have my limits too. Come on, give me a break... I couldn't take them in anymore.
Think I have to really decide what I want in life. A fast growing pace of life with a stable life and income? Or a relaxing and slow pace of live with no high income or maybe affordable life. Stuck in between still. Haha... God help me.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
A good conversation...
When I was having conversation with my lecturer yesterday, I realized that he is right about me. I am lil scare that he actually understand what type of people I am. I guess because he is a marketer and he is very good in observing. He told me that I am still lost. Lost and do not know what I want in my life. Do not know where to go to pursue my career. Should I remain in the education industry? Or should I leave this place after 2009? What can I do outside if I really leave? I think he is right, I am not ready to leave this place yet until I know what I want. The problem is how do I get to know what I want. My lecturer said that I should remain for at least another 2 years. The company is in the revolution era. This is the best place and time to expose myself to the "real world". He is asking me to help him in his new to be department. He is taking over a new Australian program and he wants me to help him. I do not know if this is a good decision. I just got transfered to the ADP department. But I know that if I were to transfer to the Australian program under my lecturer, there will lot of things that I will have to learn which is good for me. I have been doing nothing much in this ADP Department. My lecturer knows that I am a type of person who will never satisfy by just sitting there doing nothing. I need things to keep me busy... I needs things to tie me down to this place. I do not want to waste my time here and learning nothing at the end. Perhaps I should consider to accept my lecturer's offer...
My lecturer told me that going to Canada will never help me to settle down. It was like running from my problems here and leaving everything here. Things will be the same for me there in later time. As a lecturer, he is giving me advices to make me think and grow mature. I accepted his goodwill. I think I should stay for another 2 years and started looking into myself... I do not have much time to make more mistakes and return to the starting point. My friend, Sean asked for my opinion regarding his new career pathway. Like me, he is still do not know what he wants in his life. I could only advise him based on my experiences. I told him to consider to go back and help in his newly family's business. He will gain a lot of experiences as he grows along with the company. This is the time to build up his solid foundation if he wants to build up his own company one day. I think he would accept my opinion as he kept agreeing with my thoughts.
Thinking back myself now, maybe I am suitable to be a counselor. I am good in giving advices and people listen to me. I do not have persuasive ability but to counsel is a easy thing for me. I has been counseling many of my friends when they asked for my opinion. Haha... hmm... should I start looking into this area as well? Education consultant? Lecturer? Oh... too many things in my head now... Still confused... Maybe not now... :)
My lecturer told me that going to Canada will never help me to settle down. It was like running from my problems here and leaving everything here. Things will be the same for me there in later time. As a lecturer, he is giving me advices to make me think and grow mature. I accepted his goodwill. I think I should stay for another 2 years and started looking into myself... I do not have much time to make more mistakes and return to the starting point. My friend, Sean asked for my opinion regarding his new career pathway. Like me, he is still do not know what he wants in his life. I could only advise him based on my experiences. I told him to consider to go back and help in his newly family's business. He will gain a lot of experiences as he grows along with the company. This is the time to build up his solid foundation if he wants to build up his own company one day. I think he would accept my opinion as he kept agreeing with my thoughts.
Thinking back myself now, maybe I am suitable to be a counselor. I am good in giving advices and people listen to me. I do not have persuasive ability but to counsel is a easy thing for me. I has been counseling many of my friends when they asked for my opinion. Haha... hmm... should I start looking into this area as well? Education consultant? Lecturer? Oh... too many things in my head now... Still confused... Maybe not now... :)
2nd November 2008... and it's all soul day..
All Soul day... It has been long since I visited my great grandparents and my grandparents graveyard . It has been years I think. Probably because I do not know them much or i do not know them at all, there were not much memories in my mind. I also visited both my uncles whom had passed away. My dad's second elder brother just passed away last two months. Everything about him is still fresh in mind. It was pretty sad. Seeing his family weeping their tears, it really made me felt like crying. The tomb was well renovated. The notes written on the tomb were very touching. Each of the words described well about my uncle and their love for their father/husband. I told my parents to buy the land just right below my uncle. Of course it is for future use. I want my parents to live nearby their brothers and sisters after they had gone. I do not want to separate them and live alone in the other world. I think they accepted my suggestion. Actually I am not ready for any of these. I can't never accept if anyone of my family is leaving me. I would rather be the one to leave first. You can say I am selfish to let all my loved ones to suffer and feel sorrow, but I do not think I can take it. Separation is the hardest thing that I can accept it.
Looking at all the tomb laying on the ground, it made me realized that life is actually meaningless. After live for almost 60 years, at the end of the day, we still returned to where we came from. There will be no more feeling, memories and thoughts once the eyes are closed forever. Maybe it will be a good thing too. We can leave all those things behind and start new life in a different world. I always have this thing in my mind... what will happen to me after I am dead? Where would i go after that? Will I be stuck in darkness? Or someone will come and lead to where I am supposed to be? Or will I be wandering alone in the other world without anyone I know? Oh.. this is what I fear the most when thinking of dying. I do not want to be alone wandering without knowing where to go. What if Jesus forgot to take me with him? Of course He won't, just if... To every soul that have departed to God's home, rest in peace and we will meet again one day.
Finally my friend has reached Canada... I really hope that things will be good and better for him. A nice and good guy like him deserves to everything that is good. He is like a brother for me. I know that if I need help, he will never fails me. Although I do not like to mingle around with those international students at the first place, but they changed me. Making me realized that international people can also be nice people. Stop discriminating! Haha...
Looking at all the tomb laying on the ground, it made me realized that life is actually meaningless. After live for almost 60 years, at the end of the day, we still returned to where we came from. There will be no more feeling, memories and thoughts once the eyes are closed forever. Maybe it will be a good thing too. We can leave all those things behind and start new life in a different world. I always have this thing in my mind... what will happen to me after I am dead? Where would i go after that? Will I be stuck in darkness? Or someone will come and lead to where I am supposed to be? Or will I be wandering alone in the other world without anyone I know? Oh.. this is what I fear the most when thinking of dying. I do not want to be alone wandering without knowing where to go. What if Jesus forgot to take me with him? Of course He won't, just if... To every soul that have departed to God's home, rest in peace and we will meet again one day.
Finally my friend has reached Canada... I really hope that things will be good and better for him. A nice and good guy like him deserves to everything that is good. He is like a brother for me. I know that if I need help, he will never fails me. Although I do not like to mingle around with those international students at the first place, but they changed me. Making me realized that international people can also be nice people. Stop discriminating! Haha...
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Happy Halloween Day
Is supposed to be a awesome day. Like how Barney always said, " awesome..legendary". The whole bloodyhell show was just alright. Nothing special about it. Oh ya, about my dance... I did badly this time. I am very disappointed with myself. I guess Jason and I do not have the chemistry to dance together. He is fast and I am panicking... things went out of counting. The moment it finished, I felt like crying. It has been good during the practice. Why would I spoil the whole performance?? Hmm.. yes, Mathew did dedicated that song to me and Nisha... It was a beautiful song.. ' Fall for you by Secondhand Serenade". And of course the original singer sings better... :p
After the event, we went to Euphoria @ MOS at Sunway. This is the earliest clubbing I ever had. We reached there at 9.30pm to get the free entrance. We thought to go in first and get the club entrance stamp before we go to eat. However, things did not went that way. We are not allowed to go out until it's 11pm or else we will have to pay for cover charge to re-enter. So, we waited until 11pm and had our dinner later. The music was not bad, but it was not my type. So we did not enjoyed ourself at all. It was a bad day for me i guess. Everything was not right for me... :-s
It's 3.30am now... time to sleep. Need to wake up at 7am tomorrow because my work starts at 8am. There is school exhibition in my college and I need to be there to set up my booth. I think I will have not enough sleep today... will continue sleeping after work.... need to recharge my battery before it runs out. And oh ya... I still haven't pump my car petrol yet. Meaning I will have to pump tomorrow morning before work then. HAVE TO PUMP no matter what happens... It's been blinking for the whole day...
After the event, we went to Euphoria @ MOS at Sunway. This is the earliest clubbing I ever had. We reached there at 9.30pm to get the free entrance. We thought to go in first and get the club entrance stamp before we go to eat. However, things did not went that way. We are not allowed to go out until it's 11pm or else we will have to pay for cover charge to re-enter. So, we waited until 11pm and had our dinner later. The music was not bad, but it was not my type. So we did not enjoyed ourself at all. It was a bad day for me i guess. Everything was not right for me... :-s
It's 3.30am now... time to sleep. Need to wake up at 7am tomorrow because my work starts at 8am. There is school exhibition in my college and I need to be there to set up my booth. I think I will have not enough sleep today... will continue sleeping after work.... need to recharge my battery before it runs out. And oh ya... I still haven't pump my car petrol yet. Meaning I will have to pump tomorrow morning before work then. HAVE TO PUMP no matter what happens... It's been blinking for the whole day...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
RSS Feed (xml)