It's the end of year 2008...

Finally, it reaches... reaching to the end of year 2008. I cannot believe that today is the last day of year 2008. It feels like I still have not done anything good enough to end my year 2008 chapter. Looking back at the past... hmm... good things happened to me... bad things happened to me... but one thing for sure is that I am glad that everything happened to me without me regreting it. Maybe few of them but still I can accept them... with a lil forces of course.. :p
Oh well... if only I could turn back time, I am going to make few changes in my life so that everything will end up perfectly... *perfectionist? Of course NOT!* Just the way I always want to be.. trying to make everything as good as it can be... yes, to avoid regretting later in time.
Why? Because I has been dissappointed with myself few times. It' s a promise to myself not to do something that I will regret in later time. This is why I always say yes to my friends whenever they need me. Chotomate!!! ... I mean only to certain people pls.. Yes, say whatever you want... "Shireen picks her friends"... "Shireen not sincere in making friends.."
* Look at my face* Do you think I care? hehe... trying to copy Mr. Bernard Thamboo, one of the lecturers in HICT.

I think the only new year resolution I am setting up for myself this year would be living my life to the fullest. Taking advantage of everything I have and putting myself a higher step in life. It's not career status I am talking about but my lifestyle. I want to live my life in a different way from tomorrow onwards. A more mature way I would say... *keeping my finger crossed*
I think I can't afford to live my life in the way it is now. I do not think I have the all time to try out everything and make a U-turn whenever there is a dead end at later time. At the age of mine.. (ahem ahem... not very old.. still sweet 21..lol) time is very crucial. I need to catch up whatever I has left behind before they are gone forever. Argh... time is really passing me very fast! I do not want to grow old so fast... sob sob... :(

Oh ya, I forgot to update what I has been doing the past five days holiday! Hmm... well, on Christmas day, I slept until 2pm after a tiring countdown celebration in KL. I woke up and helped my mum to prepare for the night party at my house (Eh.. only for my family and relatives lor... dun feel offended if I did not invite you.. hehe). I slept at 6.00am on the next day.. I was watching TVB drama, 'The seventh day'. It was NICE. I managed to finish watching 15 episodes on that day. Then I woke up at 11.00am and went to Wee Han's house to start our baking session. Yes, strawberry alaska merinque cake.... something like that lar... can't remember the actual name. The picture... hmm... it's not with me now. Maybe later! All I can say now is I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF! Hahaha... it was a success after one time of failure. Ahmm... maybe it was a lil too sweet.. but still IT WAS NICE lor... :)
I also went for a shopping spree on the Saturday with Wee Han.. I know I know... I has been mixing too much with this 'si kia'... *Corrupted already* It was a eight hours shopping trip... sakit kaki sial... We went to Queens Park, Cheras to buy my Esprit and MNG top. After that we went to Pavilion for window shopping..supposedly lar.. but I managed to get myself a pair of heel. Opps... forgot about the Indian cuisine.. we had our lunch at Spice Garden opposite Pavilion. I has been telling Wee Han about that place, and he is craving for it. What to do... two months pregnant man... have to bring him there. I am glad that he enjoyed himself with the Indian food... although both of us were having a 'good' times in the Pavilion toilet after that. I know.. such a waste, but what to do.. stomach wants to let them out.. I can't stop them! hahaha...
And the last two days of my holiday, I did not have much outing. I need to recharge myself after so much activities I involved in. What else other than sleeping! I enjoyed myself very much these few days... indeed was a great holiday break.

So, I am taking this opportunity to wish all my friends a very Happy New Year & All the best in the coming year 2009!

Love,
Shireen Ng @ the Princess... :p

Christmas Eve Celebration!

Let's talk about my Christmas' celebration.... It has been planned that we are going to Hard Rock Cafe for the Christmas eve dinner and hang in there until the countdown ends. Supposedly to be this plan..and wait..let me go until that part later as for now, let me begin my story from the night of 23th December 2008...

Because it is a Christmas's eve dinner, I would prefer to make everything so wonderful. So, I decided to dress myself for the celebration. I took out all my dresses... black..brown..orange..purple.. and finally I chose the purple one. At the same time, I was msn'ing with that siao wee han. He was suggesting red dress to me, which I do not have. Then he asked me to put on accessories such as silver or gold bangle, which I do not have too. I know... so shameful of me not to have accessories, especially when I am a woman! Oh pls... no rules saying woman must have accessories ok? So yes, I put the purple dress and some make up accessories into a paper bag. Then I headed to my bed to read my Cleo magazine. After 15 minutes, suddenly I decided to put off my decision to wear that purple dress. I took out and put the dress back into my closet. Don't ask me why, I just don't feel like wearing it... just like that. Unbalanced feeling and emotion.. oh woman!

So I put on a more smart casual attire for the eve's celebration. A black top with jean.. the usual Shireen ng. I was working on the Christmas eve..yes, for half day because I was rushing some works in the office. Funny part was when it was about 1.10pm, Victor came in and asked me to leave early if I want, and I replies him, "Sir, I am leaving now". And he was like, "Oh... ok.." with his usual big laugh. Oh sir! ... And Sean pick me up to Kexin's place. Oh ya, forgot to tell tat we are supposed to leave to Midvalley by KTM to meet up with Sue Ann. And the best thing was no one is free to drop us at the KTM station. Argh...I was cracking my head to find someone to send us there. And thanks to Lucas, he sent us there. That siao Kexin told him that I would help him in his studies as a return favour. Nonsenseeeee... Anyway, we waited for almost 30 minutes for the stupid KTM train to arrive. Imagine, making a Princess waited for 30 minutes.. The moment we stepped into the train, we saw Sasigala inside! What a coincidence! Because of tiredness, I did not talked much in the train but try to rest and sleep, which I did not have. To my surprise, the train arrived at Midvalley pretty fast..only took it around 35 minutes to reach there. We had our lunch there while waiting for Sue Ann to get over from work. For the first time, I did not do what I must do in Midvalley. I did not drink the Air mata kucing! Oh... I missed it because I was too full with my lunch.

We left to KL around 6.20pm and reached Concorde Hotel around 7.30pm. Yes, thanks to the traffic jam..ughh.. I hate traffic jam... Oh, Hard Rock Cafe was a nice place. I was glad that we made a right choice. So Sue Ann and Sean ordered the christmas' meal set, while the remaining three of us (me, kexin and robin) ordered ala carte food. I ordered 'herb grilled chicken breast' and mango juice for myself. While waiting, we were talking and I received lot of smses wishing me christmas wishes...and a call from Abu dhabi too. Yes, it was Jai. We talked for a few minutes before my food came. Wow.. quite a big portion and it smells good! I enjoyed myself with my food. Oh ya... how can I forgot about the gift exchange! Each of us bought a gift budgetted to RM 20 to be exchange during the dinner. So I bought Forero Rocher chocolate. I know it was the easiest and standard gift.... what can I do when I do not even have time to shop for others. So I got gift from Kexin, while Kexin got mine! Kexin bought a toy.. a duck with a moving head.. It's a solar energy moving duck, and the head is not moving up or down, but left and right! Hahaha...

We are supposed to stay back in Hard Rock Cafe for the countdown, but due to one reason, we have to change our plan. Basically the Hard Rock Cafe is only entering people aged 21 and above. And Robin and Kexin was underaged. So Sue Ann suggested to proceed to Maison. Maison is a club near the Asian Heritage Row. We reached Maison at 10.10pm. Imagine, reaching at a club so early! Ermm... quite pitiful but we got no place to go anyway. We sat in and started talking. More and more people started to join the crowd. And No, I did not enjoy myself at all. The crowd were basically youngsters or "seafood". It made me felt old inside. Gosh.. looks like I am more suitable to join the crowd that are aged 21 and above. I prefer MOS more to this Maison. And the Dj started mixing some songs while waiting for the countdown. "2 more minutes to Christmas... Come on girls, give me some noise!!"... Arhhhh.. The crowd started to get heated up."And here we goes... three..two...one...Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!!!!!!"

We left Maison and headed home at about 12.15am.. Guess what? We got stuck in traffic jam again when we were on our way back to Klang. It was impossible to stuck in jam at that hour. It was too early to leave a club. Apparently it was because of those stupid people that were doing their countdown around the bukit bintang area. People were everywhere holding their spray can in their hand and spraying every car and people that passed by. We got stucked in that jam for almost 1.5 hours. Totally insane! I got home at 2.30am... and there goes my Christmas eve celebration... a tiring day, but I did enjoyed my dinner very much.

Thanks friends for making my Christmas eve celebration a good one!

Shopping, shopping and shopping...

Oh... today is a tiring but yet exciting day. I am massaging my leg while writing this post. I need the Osim leg massage now.. aahhh... that would make my day. Today, I went shopping with two of my best friends, Christine and Jenny. It's been a while since we went shopping together. We departed from our place at 12.45pm. Actually it was supposed to be a 12.00pm starting time, but... as usual.. my friend, Jenny will sms me... "Wei Shireen.. I just bangun ler... Pick me up at .... and today it was 12.45pm...and also start thinking what to eat later" Buang masa I bangun at 11.00am today. Sial betul... Good thing was I managed to watch two episodes of the series How I met you mother. She was forgiven for this reason. Then we went to Port Klang to pick up Christine. The first question Jenny addressed to us, "Eh, eat what ar? Hungry liao ler..." Christine and me looked at her and started to say, " Bangun aje sudah hungry..tak guna betul! We who wake up at 11.00am also never complain hungry!"

We went to Klang town to have wantan mee. Not bad lar... although I was actually craving for Dimsum. We proceed to Midvalley after that. During our way to midvalley, we shared lot of stupid jokes and lame story. Erm... the traffic was not very bad but still jam.. due to those unprofessional driver that always trigger my anger button, as usual those bad words eventually came out from my mouth.. "!@#$%^&&* ". To my surprise, Christine said, "Eh siao po... you know when I was in singapore, I always miss you scolding bad words ler.. Eh..say few times more lar..I want to record them down so I can play when I miss them". Jenny and me looked at each other and started laughing. I told her it came out from my mouth randomly, I can't just say them out for her. Later on, I did tried to say them out for her, but it just didn't sounded right.. just lack of the shireenness essense in it.

When we reached there, my friends were quite amused with the Midvalley's christmas decoration. Yes, we had the cotton candy again today. And also the air mata kucing. The air mata kucing is a must thing to do in Midvalley. You can't leave Midvalley until you had that drink. The reason for this shopping trip is to buy christmas gift for my family. After walking for almost 3 hours, I managed to buy a bag for my second sister. Yes, only one bag after spending three hours there.. part of the reason why is because people were all around there. There are too many people in midvalley today. Damn.. I hate shopping when there are lot of people. I just can't see things properly. Then we rested our legs by having a teatime at one of the food booth. We had a currypuff and Taiwanese Shihlin XXL Crispy Chicken. It was more like a makan trip rather than shopping trip. Oh how can I forget this... We saw a cute guy in the Cold Storage today! He was passing across me and my friends. I was standing middle of the corridor and had to give way to him. Jenny slowly and gently patted me at my shoulder to give me signal. Without turning to her, I nodded my head to agree with what she is trying to tell me. Haha.. that was the special way of communication between jenny and me. Both of us always know what we are trying to tell each other. But seriously, that guy was really cute! We saw his brother too. Oh, even the brother was cute either. Haha... you can call us crazy horny women... but who doesn't.

After leaving midvalley, we proceed to Sunway pyramid. I know, woman loves shopping, but going to two malls in one day is killing me. My legs were so aching and pain. Quite lucky today, we managed to find our parking space easily. In Pyramid, Christine managed to buy two tops in Romp. This is what she normally do during shopping. She will choose those weird tops and ask us to try them on. Just for the sake of fun. I know that is very wuliao but that is Christine. I saw a nice male jacket that I wanted to buy as a gift for my brother, but he doesn't like it. I think my brother has problem in his fashion sense. People like him can't just get the right style to suit them up. Typical ah beng style! Tak boleh tahan... sigh... I was supposed to buy a top for new year. I went into this Oriental outlet in Marakesh.. this outlet was selling chinese wear, mostly cheongsam. Oh... beautifullllllll... I saw a few nice and beautiful cheongsam which I wanted to buy. However, because of less occasions that I can put them on, I killed my desire to buy one. I just love cheongsam.. wait.. I think I have a pic of me wearing a cheongsam... a cheongsam inherited from my mum..


Stop laughing there... I know I look like aunty with cheongsam on me. Eh.. at least I managed to be the first runner up in the HICT Miss Cheongsam competition.. hahaha... Back to my story, I managed to buy a shawl for my sister. A pink in color shawl.. nice! We left Pyramid at 10.00pm and we decided to go for steamboat for late dinner at Bukit Tinggi. This is the funniest part for today outing. After finishing all the steamboat ingredients/items (called them whatever you want to call them), we still feel hungry. Therefore Christine ordered another plate of fishball mee, fucuk and dumpling to add into the soup. Remember there were only three ingredients that we ordered. After it was cooked, Jenny was stirring around the pot to take out some foods from there and she said this...

Jenny: "hmm.. what else is there in the pot that I can eat?"
shireen: "What else you can have when we only order fucuk and fishball mee?"

Jenny gave me one kind of look when she turned to me. I just can't stop laughing for that. *even now when I was typing this down* The always blur Christine did not catch our jokes and we have to re-act the whole scene again...

Jenny: "hmm.. what else is there in the pot that I can eat?"
shireen: "What else you can have when we only order fucuk and fishball mee?"

Three of us laughed like siao po... especially me. I just can't stop laughing. Probably you would not understand with what I was trying to say or you don't get the jokes. It's ok.. I just wanted to write something on this blog of mine. I tell you... funny lady she was... Dahlah tau we only ordered three items, and yet she can happily stirring and talking like there were many items that she can choose from there... Hahaha... Gosh... I miss all this good moments together. Because of greedy, we did not managed to finish the whole thing. We returned the dumpling to the waiter. Lucky they accepted it, or else mati three of us. On the journey sending Christine back home, suddenly my stomach pain. "Ahhh...my stomach!", I shouted. The two siao po looked at me and said, "aiyo...why you shout so hiauly (chinese)". Damn it.. summo say I shouted hiauly.. I can feel something in stomach is trying to come out... lol... After dropping Christine, I speed home.. and there goes my foods into the Indah WAter... hahaha

I had a great day today. Always have fun with these two women around me.

P/s: Sorry WH for not making the yamcha session on tonite... lol

Cookies or Me?

A new skin...! Got into a lil troubles when looking for blog skin.. mm... I think I am a lil out from the IN world now.. I realized that things are changing rapidly now. If I were to miss that few moments, then that's it, "I am outdated". Need to catch up a lil for now, or else I am going to miss the IN thing. Alright, this skin might not be fabulous, but I like it. The three girls inside the pictures can symbolise me and my friends. Oh well, of course I am always the one with the famous pose. The hand and the waist pose. Yes wee han, that famous pose that you made me famous with.. thanks for that...

So what has happened to me in these few days? Ermm...let me think back. I was on leave on last Thursday. Yes, to bake cookies for the kids. Wee Han and me went to 2Ply in the afternoon to buy the baking ingredients. We bought butter, brown sugar, chocolate chips, bikarbonate powder, chocolate powder and eggs. What happened was we do not have the proper recipes. Some ingredients in the books were not available in the store. What we did was to replace that certain items with other ingredients that we think it will blend in nicely. Replacing golden granulated sugar with brown sugar, and also replacing castor sugar with normal sugar. Erm.. I know... that was very smart of us...thank you... Then after bought all the ingredients, we went to the dentist clinic. Why? Because of that Wee Han larrrr... He got a date with the doctor. Both of us were so hungry at the time. Still, Wee Han still need to wait until his name is called. While waiting, both of us were looking through the recipe books that Wee Han bought in MPH Fair. Gosh... all the food pictures inside the book made our stomach growling louder. HUNGRYYYYYYY... I felt like eating all the food in front of me.... chicken tikka... pasta.. spagetti.. ribs... cakes... gosh, really torturing during that time. Finally, we had Indian food for our late lunch. Nice!

Blah blah blah... and it's the time when we start to bake the cookies. Because it was our first time baking, we were a lil slow at first. We baked two types of cookies. One of them was the Vanilla Heart and the other was chocolate chip cookies. Erm.. the vanilla cookies was considered as 90% success, while the chocolate chip cookies was considered as 70% success. The reason why only 70% is because people gave us one kind of look when we offered them more. That expression "Uh... can I say no?" that quite disappoints us. I would not blame them because the chocolate chip cookies was quite hard. One has to like really bit them hard.. hahaha... This is what people always said.. "throw at people also can die arrrrrr". Actually that cookies considered ok already. That day when we baked the cookies, there was a batch of the cookies that actually got burnt. That batch of cookies was really very very hard! We found it difficult even to break them into two. Siao... only because of few minutes late. There pictures...wait...wait... let me see if I can upload them... It was a fun day.. there were many funny incidents that are not meant to be shared here.. lol... * stop giggling at there, wee han..you know why..lol*




Only three pictures to share. Better than nothing right... Ok.. The first picture is me, shireen ng.. of course... the princess... The second picture is the Vanilla cookies...nice right? We are very proud with it. Looks so professional.. nampaknya kita ada sikit bakat in baking... hehe.. And the last picture is the 70% success chocolate chip cookies. Erm... I know... do not looks impressive enough. What to do... there is always a first time. Our next target is to bake a chocolate cake! And also my strawberry ice cream cake...oh... how can one say no to strawberry.. Siao Wee Han... I dun care lor.. we must make the strawberry ice cream cake.. since we have one full packet of flour from Kamini.. * no toleration in this case*

And finale.. Thanks to Wee Han's parents for the wonderful dinner!

Everything is over now.. :)

Finally everything is over now... I can now rest and relax in my own sweet time and place. Last week has been a hectic week for me. I am working almost everyday, even on public holiday! Sigh... really was a tiring week for me. And also for Wee Han and Racheal. They were indeed resourcesful and good friends to work with. Luckily they were there for us when we seriously need help for the Education and Career Fair. I still remembered us waking early in the Friday morning and went to the market to buy all the stuff. Haha... the "ewwww and ughhh" kept repeating in our mouth. One sentence to describe us all... "the prince and princesses" who has been living in the palace for too long. Oh well, it's market.. what to expect more from there. Now that the Education Fair is over, I think I would say that the objective of this fair were somehow not fully achieved. It was not as good as what everyone has been expecting. But this is a good start for HICT. Let's see how this will brings HICT to another different dimension.

If you love me...

If you love me,
You must learn to listen
Learn to wait
Learn to be patient
Learn to share all your privacy
Learn to understand me

If you love me,
You must accept my weakness
Accept my possessiveness
Accept my tantrums
Accept my stubbornness
Accept my ego

If you love me,
You have to love Liverpool
To love my family and friends
To love my freedom
To love my do not care attitude
To love my indecisiveness

If you love me,
You do not have to be damn rich
Do not have to be damn good looking
Do not have to be damn intelligent
Do not have to be damn lucky cat
Do not have to be damn smart

If you love me,
You are preferable to be able to dance and sing
Preferable to be able to enjoy life
Preferable to be able to share the same dream of mine
Preferable to be able to encourage, motivate, and strengthen me
Preferable to be able to prove of my existence on this earth

The reason why I exist?

Today I have attended a talk in my college by a guest of honor which I am not sure of his name, but I can say that he is inspiring and good. One of his questions was what the purpose of our existence is. Then I started to question myself, “What is the purpose of my existence?” I realized that I am blank. I do not know the reason why I exist in this world. Some people existed because they were destined to do good deeds to the world. Example would be Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa, Benjamin Franklin or maybe Albert Estein. They existed because they proved that they are worth to be existed. How about us, who are the ordinary one? Where we are not going to create a fame or good deed to the world, where we are not going to discover the earth gravity or create any extraordinary artwork worth millions of dollar? It is true that we, human only live for certain of time. We have limited time to do all that we want to do or live as how we like to be. I have seen lot of people strive to pursue their dreams and visions. I see people take lead of their life and do their best to create their fame or brand in this place called earth. This is how we get to know Nelson Mandela, Mother Theresa or maybe Princess Diana. Some of them might not live today but we still know who they are. Their name is imprinted in everyone’s heart. They have a reason for their existence. How about me? This is the question that keeps me thinking all night long.
Yesterday, I went to the Jusco Bukit Tinggi to pick up my mum and sisters from their shopping spree. It was the Jusco’s member day where heavy discount were given out. So it won’t be surprised to see thousands of people were in there. I stand on the highest floor and looked down. I could see people rushing here and there to grab their wants. I could see people queuing up to make their payments. And it was already almost 11pm. Then I started to ask myself, “Don’t they have a better life? Why someone would get into the havoc and chaos just to get cheaper stuff?” Maybe that is their life. And now it makes me think that maybe some people just choose to live the way it is. That is the reason for their existence. Some people would choose to live their life the way it is. Studying, working, starts a family, go for holiday once a year, planning their retirement and anticipating their children to start their own family are the reasons why they existed. And when the time comes, they leave the earth just like that. After a few decades of years later, their existence might not be remembered anymore.
Some people choose a different of reason why they existed in this place called earth. They choose to educate others rather than just live for themselves. They reach out to the community to help the others. Of course they live for themselves. Just that the reason of their existence is not only for themselves, but also for others. This is why there are some people who reach out to the less fortunate places to educate them, help them and show them that they are worth to exist in place. Actually I do envy these people. I wish I were part of these people. I really respect those people who can let go everything and start a new life in a place that hardly have anything. I really wish I have the bravery and courage to do that. I used to spend my every Sunday morning at an orphanage home where I spent time with the kids. It was something that I wanted to do, but it never lasted long. After a few months, I quitted. Probably because I was not committed enough or maybe I lost the reason of what I did.
Why I exist in this world? What are the purposes or reasons of my existence? To be frank, I could not find a reason why. All I did in my life was studying, working and having fun. Some might say that my existence is to bring happiness to my family and friends. Is this the only reason why I exist? I am working in an education field. Some might say that I exist to help and guide the people to pursue their studies and lead them to a successful life. Is this the reason why I exist? Or maybe my existence is to bring happiness to a man that I am going to meet in future? Or maybe my existence is to fill in the missing piece of puzzle in a beautiful picture. I yet to see the real reason why I exist in this place called earth. I want a reason of my existence that can create a big impact on me and others as well. You can call me a big dreamer, but this is how I want it to be. The journey to find the reason of my existence might be far, but I know that one day will come eventually.

Preparation for open day!

It's been a while since the college's open day was organized. If I am not mistaken the previous one was during June or July. What different from previous one with the coming one is I am doing different task now. I am no longer sitting in the Bursary and doing the collection. This time I am getting involved in the preparation for the booth. Brandon and me went to the clothing shop to buy table cloth, went to the flower shop to buy ribbon and ballons, looking around to look for better ideas to decorate the booth. Then we sat down and started to discuss on how to make the booth an attractive one. Ideas come and go... I actually enjoyed myself. I love myself doing the planning part... then how to make my plan a success one... the implementation of my plan and watching my plan works with satisfactory inside me. And if it did not works, then I will watch with unsatisfactory inside me. I always like doing event. At a point of my life when I decided to step into event industry, people around me started to pull me out. Some of them said that I am not suitable to work in event industry because I am short temper and only giving instructions rather than listening. Some of them said event is not a clean industry. I might have to go out entertaining those clients. I was like "what? entertaining clients? I am just doing event". I do not know why those people said those un-motivated advice to me. Then later in time, one of my friend told me that if I really like this event thingy, I should go for it regardless what people said to me, as long as I know what I want in my life and my passion will break all through. Hmm... I know that by staying in education industry I am saved. Education is the industry that cannot die regardless what happen in the world. It's not that I do not like education industry, but just that I do not like the facts to sit in the office and doing administrative jobs. I feel that it is not myself. Unless I really decided to continue my master and become a lecturer one day. That idea might make me stay in education industry. Sometimes we just can't do whatever we want to do.

It's 1.45pm now and I still haven't got my lunch yet. Was a lil busy today. And the time passed quite fast for me today. It's a good sign! Haha... Few days ago, I got realised that I have been wasting lot of monies and times in my life. I have been wasting lot lot lot of monies and times on certain things and people around me. If not because of what happened last two days, I wouldn't have realised that I been spending monies like no one business. The amount of monies in my bank kept decreasing and it almost touches the par line. Then I started wondering where has all my monies gone. I couldn't find an answer to my question. At that moment, I felt a slap right to my cheek. Sigh... this is why from now onwards, I have to change. I need to go for a moderation lifestyle. I need to figure out ways to keep my bank figure increasing instead of decreasing. The more it decrease, the more my Canada trip will go away from me.. hahaha

Time for lunch! :)

The mood of Christmas!

Hurray! Finally it is December... Time for celebration! I always got very excited when December comes. This is because I am very much anticipating Christmas to come. For me, December is the starting of the year. Everything starts from the month of December. Maybe I am a Christian and Christmas resemble new year to me. When December arrives, I would normally hang around the malls on the weekend. I love the Christmas decorations serenaded with the christmas songs in the malls. The malls are the only places where I can feel the Christmas spirit. From Midvalley to Sunway Pyramid, from Sunway Pyramid to Starhill, from Starhill to KLCC and from KLCC to One Utama... So far still Midvalley impresses me the most. I still wonder what is the theme of their Christmas decoration this year.

Since the last Saturday, I have been decorating my office with the Christmas decoration. Oh well, because of no budget, what I can do was to use all the reycle color papers and posters to make the decoration. Erm... although it might not look the best, but at least there is some Christmas feel now. Hehe... moreover it was Shireen Ng who did that. So who dare to say it was not good enough. Trying to take few pictures now but my phone camera was not that intelligent enough to take some good shots. Maybe next time!

It's time to do some Christmas shopping now. I need to get myself a red stylish dress this year. I never boought any red color dress for Christmas before. Maybe this year is the time to change. I already saw one in the Curve. I am just waiting for weekend to come and the dress will be mine... hahaha... I also need to get everyone in my family a gift. A gift for exchange of course. I always tell everyone that I do not just give but I also must receive. There is always a giving and receiving in my dictionary :p

This year Christmas celebration will be just a nice and cosy dinner at one of the restaurants in KL. My friends and I will hang around KL area for the Christmas countdown. After a nice and good dinner, probably we will hang around in a nice lounge and spend some good time there. I was thinking of Sky Bar, but few of my friends said that it was not as good as what I want. Or maybe we will spend some time in Bangkok Jazz! Talking about Bangkok Jazz, there is a story to share tomorrow as for now I am getting ready to get home. Yes, meaning I have to go through the traffic jam and chaotic driving... sigh... :(

The wonder of Friendship!

Sitting in front of my computer... chatting on msn...listening to Daniel Powter's Best of Me... a nice song! Trying to search for the lyric... wanting to know what this song is about... I just came back from a nice dinner with my best friends. It's been months since I met them. The best thing was we actually stayed very near to each other. I always said that "So near yet so far"... hahaha.. Life is like this when we stepped into a different stage of life. Things changes around us. We do not longer spend more time with each other, but we know that we still love each other and will be there for each other. The wonder of friendship!

We were talking about lot of stuffs tonight. Most of them were relationship issues. Oh well, we are in the stage of life where relationship is part of us. I raised this question to them, asking how many of them are willing to let go their current relationship to achieve their dreams? And to my surprise, there were none of them. Relationship has become part of their life. Of course they do.. When come to think of it, I think I will do the same. How to let go of a beautiful relationship just because of your dream? What if your dream never comes true and yet you lose someone you love dearly? I had seen many of my friends who chose to let go their dreams because of relationship. Their life is not sparkling like how they used to be last time. It was like they had lost the brightness in their life. I do not know but I certainly do not wish that to happen to me. I know that if I were to involve in a relationship, mostly I would give up my dreams too. I think we can't have both things at the same time. Most of the people would want to go to other place and start their new life.... travelling around the world... as for me, I want to start my new life in somewhere else. I want to change the environment around me now. I do not like the environment I am living now. That is my dream. If I were to involve in a relationship, I know my dream will shatter. How many people would let go their everything just to follow your dream? What if you can't let go of the person you love? Meaning you need to let go your dream. Then I will lose my brightness... hahaha... unless I manage to find someone who share the same dream as me. I think I should start listing down a list of requirement in order to love shireen ng... hahaha... And okayyy coming back to my dinner... we also decided to go for clubbing this saturday night. It has been a long time since we went to club together. I guess it will be another hang over night for us.

And finally managed to get Daniel Powter's Best of Me lyric...

I was made the wrong way, won't you do me the right way
Where you gonna be tonight, 'cause I won’t stay too long
Maybe you're the life for me, when you talk to me it strikes me
Won't somebody help me, 'cause I don't feel too strong

Was it something that I said, was it something that I did
Or the combination of both that did me in

You know I'm hoping you'll sing along, though it’s not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again, when you do you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And I hate the thought of finally been erased
Baby that's best of me

Everything's behind you, but the hopeless sign's beside you
I’m livin’ in the moment, have I wasted all your time

Was it something that I said, was it something that I did
Or the combination of both that did me in

You know I am hoping you'll sing along, though it's not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again, when you do you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And I hate the thought of finally been erased
But baby that's the best of me
Baby that's the best of me

You know I am hoping you'll sing along, though it’s not your favorite song
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left to say
You know that some of us spin again, when you do you need a friend
Don't wanna be there when there's nothing left for me
And I hate the thought of finally being erased
Baby that's best of me

37 days to go before year 2009...

It's end of the year now... another 37 days to go before we step into the year 2009. This is time where people started talking about new year resolution... holidays... increment and bonuses... We can't run away from these issues. It is like a yearly routine. Everyone will come out with their new year resolution.. "I want to buy new car" ... "I want to graduate this year!"... "I want to go to Europe for holiday"... "I want to get a new gf/bf". I used to do this too... but to be honest, I think most of them went go down into the drain. Oh come on... it was just a resolution. People just have it because everyone is having it. Who wants to be the odd one? So my new year resolution for year 2009 would be....hmm..let me think... " To graduate? I am going to be..definitely!"... erm... "To buy a new mobile? Is that necessary? Nah....I think I will cancel this off"... "To go to Bali for a holiday trip? Almost paid for it.. need time to reconsider"... "To set up a business venture with my friends? Maybe.. it's time to take risk now, or I will be sitting in the office forever".... What else I want in year 2009... Can't really think of anymore now.. to be continued...

Increment and bonuses is always an important issue when comes to end of the year. Everyone will be wondering if the company will give out increment and bonuses as an incentive to the one year hard work and effort. Comes to think of it, it's been 2 years since I received my last bonus. Wow... 2 years without bonus... actually it was pretty bad for me. Whenever comes to new year, it is the time to spend more money. This is why I hate new year... especially comes to Chinese New Year... sigh... money just flung out easily and faster. Really wish this year will be the year where shireen ng receive bonus... hahha... Some people will say that bonus only will be given out if the company is performing and the staff must perform very well to deserve that. But come to the fact, how would the staff knows if the company is profitable or not. Not that the company is going to show their accounts to the staff. And bonuses should be adjusted or budgeted monthly in the accounts. There is no reason why bonuses should not be given out if the company is not performing. Moreover, bonus is an incentives to motivate the staff to work harder in the coming year. Without bonus, I strongly believe that the staff will never work harder or perform better for the company. Come on... just the matter of few thousands dollar... take it out and make everyone happy!

One sex relationship?

Today I read this articles from the newspaper that saying part time model divorced husband and lived together with a tomboy who resembled her favourite male singer. I do not know why but recently there were many cases that showing to me that one sex relationship is spreading all around. Female with female? Male with male? What is the logic behind these "special" relationship? How can two same sex creature fall in love with each other? What is the special connection and bonding they have between them? Hmm... I always wonder how is the feeling when falling in love with the same gender people. It's not I am discriminating them. I respected them like how I respected everyone. I accepted one sex relationship because I know that sometimes we cannot stop our feeling and urge. Some people were born male when their inner character was a woman. Like how I always said, " Man in the body of a woman". It is a good thing that they were able to express themselves and be truthful to themselves.

But of course there were some people who are not born to be in this "special"relationship, they just wanted to follow the trend. If the trend now is one sex relationship, then some of them will definitely go for it. I think this is totally insane. One of my friends once told me that all the women in the world are bisexual. Is this true? Then how about the men? Aren't they supposed to be bisexual too? Things are getting more complicated now. I had seen many of my friends are falling into the one sex relationship. Some of them were born to be... some of them because of failure in two sex relationship... some of them because they hate man. I had never been involved in one sex relationship. Not because I discriminate them or not because I think one sex relationship is inhealthy, but I just do not fall into it. I do not have feeling over woman. Maybe because I am a woman in a woman's body. Therefore I only fall in love with man....

I will not assure that I might fall into the one sex relationship in future. We can't control the feeling that come and go. Who knows maybe one day the feeling comes. I will never say no to one sex relationship just for the sake of fear or worry over what others think of me. For now, I will say no because I do not have that feeling towards women yet. One of my friends told me that he is fear that I will step into the one sex relationship. After several failed relationship with man, he is worry that I will look out for woman instead. Haha.... what I can say for now is I am still interested in man. Ermm... maybe I should pay a visit to the gay and lesbian club one day. Let's see if those gay and lesbian can trigger me on. Haha... but I heard that gays are normally very good looking and have a high professional career. What a waste! Damn... Looks like I am more suitable to be a woman in the woman's body... :)

Tiramisu....Anyone?

Today is the tiramisu day. Why Tiramisu? Because we are going to make tiramisu today. Wee Han invited me to go over Shaleeni's house tonight to make our own tiramisu. Yes, I am not a Tiramisu lover. Simple because I do not like coffee. I do not like bitterness in my life. Haha... yup, inclusive of bitterness experiences. This is why I always declared myself as "princess". Princess that cannot take any bitter in life. A princess that cannot tolerate with pain, bitter and sour in life. So called me princess Shireen... hahaha... and stop saying nonsenseeeeeee when you read this. I knew you will say it. Just shut up...

I think I heard from someone that tiramisu is a local delicacy back in Italy when the county was in war. The women in Italy used to make this tiramisu and sent it to their war fighter husband. Tiramisu was made from bread and coffee back then. A simple, cheap and delicious food which had became a big name today. Hmm... it would be wonderful if one day the food that I created now will become a big name in the future... hahahaha... I know.. I know... "Shireen do not even cook and she wants to create food that will become a big name in future? Dream on!" Well, do not cook now doesn't mean I won't cook in later time. People change, you know?

Just got the latest news that Victor is going to take over the ADP's portfolio. Before he announced the good news, I can see a bright big smile on his face. I knew that there must be something happy that he just got received and there he goes... The new ADP leader! I am still waiting for the official email from the management regarding this issue. Looks like he is really happy with this new arrangement. Well, it is good for him to take up ADP as well. He has been a very good mentor to all the ADP's students. His undying characters, motivation and highly spirit were more suitable to lead the American Degree Program. This mean my ADP's tshirt is now saved from being getting rotten under my table... hahaha...

Kudos, Sir! Finally, you made it....

18th Nov 08 and it's Tuesday...

It has been days since I wrote something... Let me updated a lil about what had happened recently. As what I mentioned before, last saturday was the convocation day. I would say that apart from the last minute mess, overall, everything went well. It was a good day to celebrate their graduation. Finally, years of effort was paid off. Can't wait for my next year convocation! Maybe because of lack of rest and sleep, I got sick! The last weekend was a hell for me. I had a terrible sore throat... bad flu... come and go fever... sickening! It really tortured me. This is why I hate falling sick. Giving me no choice, I went to the doctor on Monday. The doctor was nice and friendly. I like this doctor... and it's a woman. No gender affection pls. And for the remaining 10 days, I am still under medication. Oh... there is one medicine that I enjoyed.. it's the flu medicine. Once I took it, after 15 minutes, I will get drowsy and go to sleep. I enjoy the sleeping force that given by the medicine.. hahaha... I had sleepless night since last Saturday.

Finally, I read finished the book "p/s I love you" and also the movie too. It was awesome! The book and the movie were slightly different from the plot. The book were a better version. It can touches my heart and made me cried as I read along. Actually, this is the first time I cried reading a book. Only one word to describe it, EXCELLENT. I am glad that I bought this book. It was worth keeping it. About the movie, I do not really enjoy it. It was too fast and the story line were somehow twisted. It do not made me cried like how the book did. But, it was a not bad movie afterall.

And I am back to work today. Still weak under medication but it's better to get out from my room and get some fresh air outside. I also received a greeting card from Jai... very sweet of him. Must be because of my depressed last weekend. Oh yes, not because of my sickness only, there are some other reasons that contributed to my depression. Sometimes being the eldest in the siblings was not as fun as how it looks. Eldest meaning bigger responsibilities and burden to be taken care of. Just that I am too tired to take up this responsibilities. At times, I really wish that I could leave everything here and go. Go to a place that no one knows me and I can live my life as how I prefer it to be. Sigh... I know that is impossible. Life is always unpredictable and responsibilities can help me to grow. What else can I do now? Stay and face reality! :(

Raza called me yesterday... He was telling me his first snow experience in Canada. Looks like he is enjoying himself there very well. I tried to imagine myself in his situation... I bet I will definitely stunned and amazed with my first snow experience. Haha... I felt much better after we spoke on the phone. At least I am listening to something new that I have no idea how it will be. It helped to bring me out of the boring conversation I had here. Something new to share...nice!

12th Nov 08.... and it's Wednesday...

It's been three times I had my lunch at the college cafe... What to comment on their food? Ermm... I would give them 3/5 rating because the quality was not that good. Except today's food... Japanese curry chicken rice.. It was better than those two times I had. Why would I still go and have my meal there since I am frustrated with the repainting? Cause I do not want to disappoint my juniors. I have to give them my supports... oh well, sometimes we just can't act according to our feeling. Uhmm... compromise...

Was talking to Brandon just now that we want to go for another movie marathon this Friday... this time is Madagascar 2 and maybe Tropic Thunder. I want to watch Twilight too.. must not miss that one. Especially after I had read the book... yup.. the final episode. Haha... still felt stupid that I did not aware of the series, and read the final episode without reading the first episode. There are lot of nice movie is coming up very soon... hmm... looks like my weekend outing will be movie marathon... hahaha.... and also reading book.. oh ya, I am reading the book by Cecelia Ahern again... this time is P/S I Love You... oh... it was a very nice book.. i just finish four chapters and it had made my cried. Very romantic and lil sad story. But I think the story is suppose to be a happy and touching ending. Can't wait to finish the book... cause I am going to watch the movie after I finish the book. Only after I finish the book.... :)

This saturday is the day everyone been waiting for... the convocation. Yes, the funny and last minute convocation. Well, looks like everything was in proper place now. Hopefully everything will goes well.. at least for the sake of the graduands. I will be working on that day itself...I need to wake up at 6.30am... IT'S 6.30AM... gosh... cause I need to pick up few friends and reach KL by 8.00am... it's even earlier than working day... ADP will also organise a booth to sell our ADP Tshirts and also the CD. I have to push the sales of the Tshirt. I want to have my money back asap...hmm... stuck there for like few months without moving at all.

My best friend is back to town! She just completed her final exam... and coming back for her holiday break. This time she wants to go clubbing with me... so I guess I have to bring her out this saturday night. I was planning to go to Avenue K.. the new four seasons club. Let see how cause the cover charge was not cheap.. if I am not mistaken, it is about 68 per person. I know... it's very expensive... lol... We also plan to have a all night girl's outing. She is going to get a free room in one of the service apartment in one of the weekend and we are going to have fun there.... food... champagne... beers.... oh... it's been a while since all of us gathered and have fun. Kinda miss it.. :)

If I were a boy... by Beyonce

And I love this song... She actually potrayed how a man treats a woman in relationship.. What men should do in order not to hurt the women... how women want men to be in a relationship... and I like the way she ends the song with men always be men... they will never change and always remain the same... they will never know what they lost... til they really lose it... and it will always too very late...

If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home (to come home)
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted (wanted)
Cause he’s taken you for granted (granted)
And everything you had got destroyed
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
But you're just a boy
You don’t understand (yea you don’t understand)
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy

Good Song! :)

A great but tiring weekend.. and it's Monday again

Last Saturday, me and my friends went to Melaka for a makan trip. We left Klang around 11.15am and reached Melaka around 1.00pm. The first thing we did there was to eat the famous chicken rice ball. After that we went for a cendol dessert. Yummy! Melaka has the best cendol dessert. We also went for satay... satay celup... grill fish... I ate a lot on that trip. I think I must have gained lil weight. But it was worthy when comes to food. I reached home around 1am that day. My leg was aching due to excessive walking and I slept like a pig when I got home. It has been long since I go to Melaka last few months back. The next journey I think I will go to Penang since I got free air-ticket. Yes, must utilise it before it expired.

Ehm... one of my friend is leaving to Australia for holiday in the month of December... while another two friends are leaving to Cambodia in the month of February 09. Everyone is leaving for a nice and great holiday escape very soon. When can I redemn mine too? I want to go oversea for holiday too... I want to go to Dubai... Canada... Australia...Europe... Spain...to find my Mr.Right there.... arghh... too many places to go... I just can't leave like that... I need the money for future use... It is not wise of me to spend everything on a holiday trip, especially in the terrible global recession now. Can't even plan for a local holiday trip. It will cost me around 500-600 ringgit again... It's not worth to travel local with that sum of money. Better save it up for a oversea holiday trip in coming years... Sigh... What to do... just have to be patient for another 2 years... *keep my finger crossed*

Me and my friends were talking about the coming Christmas celebration. What we are gonna do for it? Normally me and my friends will go have good food and hang around a nice place. But this year things might be lil different. One of them is leaving to Australia... then two of them might wanna save some money for their coming trip... my sis is leaving to Thailand for Christmas... Damn... I do not want to spend Christmas alone... What can I do... think... think... ermm.. perhaps I should organise a home party and invite friends to my house... I wanna do something different this time... Turkey...red wine... champagne... candy... let's see what I can do... I had enough of clubbing and outing during Christmas unless there is something special or unique enough to tempt me..

I just came back from the marketing department... I couldn't believe with what I brought back with me to office. I was assigned to distribute flyers at Andalas School tomorrow at 4.30pm... moreover I am alone! What the f**k! At least send someone to accompany me. It's not that I mind to help them out, but please be reasonable. Alone distributing flyers?? I still cannot accept this... and the ppl in other departments just sitting in the office and doing nothing. I am coordinator... not marketing staff. I need to do something on this. Hope that my Head of department will voice out to the marketing department for me. This is total NONSENSEEEEEEEEEEE.... What they goin go do if something happen to me? Gosh... considerate sikit pls... would you send your own son or daughter alone to distribute flyers??
Stupid ppl... with stupidity ... what can I say more...

6th Nov 08... and it's Thursday..

Another boring day... Hmm... I realised that everyday in office was a boring day. Damn... What should I do then? I do not want to sit down in the office and complain about this everyday. If this keep continiung, I think I really have reconsider of staying for another 2 years. A department without a head is definitely a disaster. I wonder if the position of Head of ADP department is been cursed. Whoever came, never lasted long. I am tired saying the same thing to students, "We still do not have a head yet. Coming soon... ". What is so difficult in getting a proper person to sit for it? The worst part now is conflict and politics is everywhere. I was stuck in between. As head of school of business, he is supposed to oversee the three business program in the college, but thing was not this way. Two different parties is giving different instructions. One side said he is only in charged of ECU and Dibs, while another one said he is in charged of ADP too. Confusion and dilemma I was now. I do not know who to listen to. I guess I will have to assist both of the head of school of business and acting head of ADP. I really do not know... It's alright I guess. I think I can handle both of them if provided the acting head was alright about it.

Finally, I stepped into the new cafe. Struggling between the persuasion of those juniors and my principles, I gave in to the persuasion. I do not want to disappoint them. They has been nice to me all these while. Fine.. alright.. I will go in. Overall, the cafe was doing good. Other than people complaint about the F&B are not that delicious. This why I haven't eat there before. Let's see their performance first before I give them my first time.

We are going for a movie titled "The Coffin", a Thai movie tomorrow night. It is a horror movie. Yes, I hate horror movie. But since it was Brandon's request, I decided to give it to him. Just a movie after all. What I will do there is to close my eyes with my hands, like how I always did. Haha.. It's been a long time I never watch a movie in cinema. The last time I watched in ciname was in Genting with Jai. And the movie we watched was the mirror. Gosh... that is a creepy movie. Eww... hopefully tomorrow night's movie won't cause me sleepless nights. Hmm... one thing bad about this was I am getting more friends who are very young than me. It was 4 years ... now it was 6 years different. Hmm... is this a good or bad sign?

I was doing the assessment of migration to Canada few days back. Apparently I scored 59/67 points that need to meet the requirement of entrance. I think if I can improve my english, then I can score 67/67 as what Raza had did for me. I was so eager to move there... I do not know why. Probably I just want to get out from here and look for something new out there. I am not sure if this is what good for me. But there is only one life in a lifetime, so I think I should do it if this is what I want. I do not want to regret in the future for not doing it. Probably I will wait til year 2010 and apply for a temporary working/holiday visa to Canada. Stay and work there for maybe one year and see if I am suitable there. If I do not like there, then I can come back here. People has been telling me that Australia will be a good place to go to. Australia... it's not that I do not like it, but I never thought of it. Maybe because I do not have friends there. Let's see how things goes in future. Maybe I shall put Australia in my second option. Although it is like one year from now, but I should start planning now if I really want it. Planning! First step now is to save money as much as possible.... meaning no more luxury holiday.. no more frequent outing... no more good and expansive food... FOOD... gosh.. TEMPTATION...

Today in World's history...

and Obama won the US election. It was predicted after all. Who will have confident in Mc Cain? especially with Sarah Palin? Gosh... thanks God that the American is not blinded by the Mc Cain-Palin campaign. I has been following the election since last 2 months. This is the first time I actually started to show interest in politics. Oh well, it has been a big "hu ha" since last few months back. Now, let's see what Obama can do for America and the world. Hopefully he can brings the American Dream comes true. A majority voted winner.. wow... really a history making election. I am somehow felt glad that Obama won. I can't imagine if Mc Cain won the election. What the old man do for America? Other than fighting against terrorism. I am lil frustrated that I can't watch the live telecast in CNN. Wanted to watch Obama's speech after he claimed the victory. Argh... the college television was not functioning today. What a luck! Guess I have to wait until tonight then.

Today I went out lunch with my students/ juniors after the school exhibition. This is the first time I actually went out with them. It's kinda weird. But everything was still fine. A lil quiet but not that awkward. I am glad that we can actually sit down and have a chit chat. And the most funny part was they were asking me about my past relationship. Gosh... I can't believe those question they were asking me. I mean... "are you a virgin? When is your first kiss? Have you make out before?" Goodness sake, come on... those questions are so sensitive and private :-s
I decided to remain silent. However, they kept pestering me along the way back to college. God... I just shut my ears and walked back to college... :) Those kids... are kids after all. All thanks to that Mathew.. I am so going to get him...

A disastrous town.. and it will last one more year...

Klang has been a disaster to all of us who are living here. The stupid town municipal has created a hell for all of us. Roads were closed and changed without any early notice. The construction of the new route is really killing everyone. It normally took me 15 minutes to reach klang, but now it took me more than 45 minutes. Can you imagine the hassles that I have to go through everyday? And the traffic jam is getting worst starts from now. It tooks at least one hour to reach klang now. I am very tired. I am really very tired with all these. All the hassles is creating a big impact on my life. I have become more hot-temper. I have become more easily irritated. I get sad and angry very fast now. I really do not like the me now. The negativities around me is making me more vulnerable now.

Now, every morning I have to think which way to use to avoid all the traffic jam. And when it's 5.30p, I have to think the way to avoid the jam. It has been my routine for now. What should I do now? It's a one year disaster time for me. Should I keep continued on what I am doing now? Or should I consider to move out and stay somewhere near? I really do not know. Arghhhh... I am so confused now. Sometimes I really wish I could just disappear just like that. I hate going through all these! Everything and everyone around me is giving me problems and troubles. Hey, I have my limits too. Come on, give me a break... I couldn't take them in anymore.

Think I have to really decide what I want in life. A fast growing pace of life with a stable life and income? Or a relaxing and slow pace of live with no high income or maybe affordable life. Stuck in between still. Haha... God help me.

A good conversation...

When I was having conversation with my lecturer yesterday, I realized that he is right about me. I am lil scare that he actually understand what type of people I am. I guess because he is a marketer and he is very good in observing. He told me that I am still lost. Lost and do not know what I want in my life. Do not know where to go to pursue my career. Should I remain in the education industry? Or should I leave this place after 2009? What can I do outside if I really leave? I think he is right, I am not ready to leave this place yet until I know what I want. The problem is how do I get to know what I want. My lecturer said that I should remain for at least another 2 years. The company is in the revolution era. This is the best place and time to expose myself to the "real world". He is asking me to help him in his new to be department. He is taking over a new Australian program and he wants me to help him. I do not know if this is a good decision. I just got transfered to the ADP department. But I know that if I were to transfer to the Australian program under my lecturer, there will lot of things that I will have to learn which is good for me. I have been doing nothing much in this ADP Department. My lecturer knows that I am a type of person who will never satisfy by just sitting there doing nothing. I need things to keep me busy... I needs things to tie me down to this place. I do not want to waste my time here and learning nothing at the end. Perhaps I should consider to accept my lecturer's offer...

My lecturer told me that going to Canada will never help me to settle down. It was like running from my problems here and leaving everything here. Things will be the same for me there in later time. As a lecturer, he is giving me advices to make me think and grow mature. I accepted his goodwill. I think I should stay for another 2 years and started looking into myself... I do not have much time to make more mistakes and return to the starting point. My friend, Sean asked for my opinion regarding his new career pathway. Like me, he is still do not know what he wants in his life. I could only advise him based on my experiences. I told him to consider to go back and help in his newly family's business. He will gain a lot of experiences as he grows along with the company. This is the time to build up his solid foundation if he wants to build up his own company one day. I think he would accept my opinion as he kept agreeing with my thoughts.

Thinking back myself now, maybe I am suitable to be a counselor. I am good in giving advices and people listen to me. I do not have persuasive ability but to counsel is a easy thing for me. I has been counseling many of my friends when they asked for my opinion. Haha... hmm... should I start looking into this area as well? Education consultant? Lecturer? Oh... too many things in my head now... Still confused... Maybe not now... :)

2nd November 2008... and it's all soul day..

All Soul day... It has been long since I visited my great grandparents and my grandparents graveyard . It has been years I think. Probably because I do not know them much or i do not know them at all, there were not much memories in my mind. I also visited both my uncles whom had passed away. My dad's second elder brother just passed away last two months. Everything about him is still fresh in mind. It was pretty sad. Seeing his family weeping their tears, it really made me felt like crying. The tomb was well renovated. The notes written on the tomb were very touching. Each of the words described well about my uncle and their love for their father/husband. I told my parents to buy the land just right below my uncle. Of course it is for future use. I want my parents to live nearby their brothers and sisters after they had gone. I do not want to separate them and live alone in the other world. I think they accepted my suggestion. Actually I am not ready for any of these. I can't never accept if anyone of my family is leaving me. I would rather be the one to leave first. You can say I am selfish to let all my loved ones to suffer and feel sorrow, but I do not think I can take it. Separation is the hardest thing that I can accept it.

Looking at all the tomb laying on the ground, it made me realized that life is actually meaningless. After live for almost 60 years, at the end of the day, we still returned to where we came from. There will be no more feeling, memories and thoughts once the eyes are closed forever. Maybe it will be a good thing too. We can leave all those things behind and start new life in a different world. I always have this thing in my mind... what will happen to me after I am dead? Where would i go after that? Will I be stuck in darkness? Or someone will come and lead to where I am supposed to be? Or will I be wandering alone in the other world without anyone I know? Oh.. this is what I fear the most when thinking of dying. I do not want to be alone wandering without knowing where to go. What if Jesus forgot to take me with him? Of course He won't, just if... To every soul that have departed to God's home, rest in peace and we will meet again one day.

Finally my friend has reached Canada... I really hope that things will be good and better for him. A nice and good guy like him deserves to everything that is good. He is like a brother for me. I know that if I need help, he will never fails me. Although I do not like to mingle around with those international students at the first place, but they changed me. Making me realized that international people can also be nice people. Stop discriminating! Haha...

Happy Halloween Day

Is supposed to be a awesome day. Like how Barney always said, " awesome..legendary". The whole bloodyhell show was just alright. Nothing special about it. Oh ya, about my dance... I did badly this time. I am very disappointed with myself. I guess Jason and I do not have the chemistry to dance together. He is fast and I am panicking... things went out of counting. The moment it finished, I felt like crying. It has been good during the practice. Why would I spoil the whole performance?? Hmm.. yes, Mathew did dedicated that song to me and Nisha... It was a beautiful song.. ' Fall for you by Secondhand Serenade". And of course the original singer sings better... :p

After the event, we went to Euphoria @ MOS at Sunway. This is the earliest clubbing I ever had. We reached there at 9.30pm to get the free entrance. We thought to go in first and get the club entrance stamp before we go to eat. However, things did not went that way. We are not allowed to go out until it's 11pm or else we will have to pay for cover charge to re-enter. So, we waited until 11pm and had our dinner later. The music was not bad, but it was not my type. So we did not enjoyed ourself at all. It was a bad day for me i guess. Everything was not right for me... :-s

It's 3.30am now... time to sleep. Need to wake up at 7am tomorrow because my work starts at 8am. There is school exhibition in my college and I need to be there to set up my booth. I think I will have not enough sleep today... will continue sleeping after work.... need to recharge my battery before it runs out. And oh ya... I still haven't pump my car petrol yet. Meaning I will have to pump tomorrow morning before work then. HAVE TO PUMP no matter what happens... It's been blinking for the whole day...

31 Oct 2008.. and..today is also halloween day!

I am sitting in the office surfing through the net (thestar.com.my) for today's news. Few interesting articles that captured my attention. "Honey, did I win RM20mil?" reported that this husband and wife were in shocked after winning the jackpot lottery of RM20 million. Wow... just like that and RM20 million is in hand. I think I should start buying lottery too. Who knows if it will be me next time. RM20 million... there are lot of things that I wan to do with it. First, I am going to buy all my family and friends a good meal. Yes, food always comes first. Haha... then I will quit my job and leave this place asap. Paying off all the loans... Going for holidays... there is a 's' inside.. holidays... lol... Oh yes, going to US for my convocation. How can I forget that... There are many things that can be done with that money of course. Yeah, I can go to Canada straight away too.. Blah blah blah.... shireen ng is still dreaming... so easy to strike a jackpot?? Oh well, I am supposed to be a imaginative person. Only imagine...

The petrol price is going down again this saturday by 15 cents. Lucky that I did not pump petrol this morning or else, I would be cursing myself now. But my car petrol signal is already start blinking since this morning. Can it make it until tomorrow morning? Damn it. I still need to drive to Sunway later tonight. Probably will pump in a smaller amount. Arghhh... The world oil price is still going down. At about USD 60++ per barrel is a definitely a good news to us. It has been killing me since the petrol price went up. After suffering so many years, finally God said, "Oh my child, you had too much suffering in life. Let me take away your sorrow and suffering. Let you be happy for a while." As I always said that God loves me very much. God will also helps those who I love too. So please say thank you... "Thank you, shireennnnnnn!" :-p

And finally the news of the year, the US election 2008. I has been keeping track of this election since past few months. Obama and Mc Cain... who will I choose? Of course Obama! Well, who will want to choose a 72 years old man to be the next president? A man who only talks crap and doing nothing. Obama is giving a different face in the US history. The first black American President. Sounds cool right? The majority of the people is choosing Obama over Mc Cain. Yes, Obama is leading the race now. But somewhere deep down me have this fear. Fear that Obama might lost to Mc Cain because he is black. Racist has been the main issue in the world. Not only America, but everywhere is the world. Oh come on, the world needs a good leader. We all know the next American President is the next world leader. So people in US, please make a wise decision! Only if I have the chance to vote for. Perhaps what they should do is to allow the citizen of the earth to vote for... the next world president. I really can't wait for the 4th Nov 08 to come. The judgement day... haha

Enough of news now... let's talk about tonight. "It feels like tonight... can't you see I am broken inside... blah blah blah... and it feels like tonight"... Tonight is the night!! The Bloody Hell show brought by the ADP and ECU students. Why am I so excited about it??? Cause I am performing, simple as that... lol... Until yesterday, me and jason was still not in our good form. There are still mistakes. Maybe there is still no chemistry between us. But of course we will do our best for tonight. And today is also Efoong's birthday! The guy is older one year now... hehe... We planned to celebrate his birthday at Euphoria tonight after the show. It's free entrance..what more to wait for... have to go tonight. Alright, need to go to pantry to make my drink now... to be continued...

30 Oct 2008... and..

I am sitting in the office now... quite bored with everything around me. I came late to work today. Probably did not get enough rest yesterday. Oh ya, I was chatting with Jai and Raza until early in the morning. It has been long since I had a good conversation with them. It felt good. Back to the old times... Like how we used to lie down and talked all night long. Gosh, I miss all that moments. Looks like Raza really wants me to go Canada. Not that I just said it for fun. I really want to go there. He has been looking for all the information that can help me to get there. I really appreaciate his efforts. Thanks God that I have a friend like him. Now I am a lil relieved cause I know someone is out there helping me out. Thanks Raza!

This morning, the convocation issue was brought up again. This time is about the fees. Yesterday, the chairman of the convocation committee has sent email to all the graduand regarding the new venue and fees. An additional guest will be charged RM50 per person. And this morning, the management said that RM50 is way too low. They have to absorb too much cost. Again, meeting was held and new rates is confirmed. The first two additional guests will be charged RM50 per person, while any additional guests after that will be charged RM120 per person. Actually it was the management's fault to charge a low fees. I think RM 200 for graduand and 2 guests is still reasonable enough. And for any new additional guests to be charged RM70. This is what they should do, but again they failed. I just have two words to describe them... "Too clever".

While I am writing this, I was chatting with Saad and Tina. Oh well, everyone in the college is too bored! Chatting with Tina about the new revised fees and she is getting a lil frustrated again. Why change the fees when it was supposed to remain RM50 per guest? I really do not know how to answer her. I just explained the situation faced by the college and hope that she will let it go. I really had enough of all those "arguement". I really do not know what will happen again if the students still not satisfy with it. Come on guys, just let it go. I would say that the changing of the venue is a lucky arrangement done in such a short time. Where the hell can the management find a ballroom in such as short time? The management has done their best to fulfill the students' need. Perhaps letting them go is a wise decision for now.

Later there is dancing practise again. I has been practising since tuesday. My body is still aching now. All for the sake of Bloodyhell show. Talking about the show, much to share now. I just get to know from the event person in charged and he is frustrated with the whole arrangement. Everything was pretty messed up and no one is assisting him. Looks like the committee is more interested in the new cafe. However, they had started to decorate the auditorium yesterday. And guess what! They actually stole a tree from ground floor and used it as a decoration. Gooodness sake, steal a tree and used it as decoration?!

For those born in the year of RAT

Brief Description
The Rat is highly imaginative, charming and very generous. They can sometimes be quick tempered and overly critical. (am I generous? Hmm...imaginative? Yes! Haha... Charming? Maybe sometimes.. :p)

Positive Traits
charming, protective, compassionate, communicative, dynamic, familial, thrifty, skilful, sober upright, attractive, idealistic, prosperous, experimental, calm, sensual, loving, talented, adaptable, open-minded and brilliant entrepreneurs (I like all these positive traits.. well described about me.. hehe.. compassionate?? I think I can be very mean if I want..)

Negative Traits
possessive, picky, defensive, excessive, addictive, fickle, stingy, bumptious, bossy, exploitive, anxious, argumentative, opinionated, overbearing and self-obsessed (Oh... oh... possessive? 101% I am... Yes, I'm very picky especially comes to food... defensive? Everyone said so...! I think all are quite true except one or two.. stingy? not at all...)

General Descriptionof All Rats
Being born under this sign determines many talents, as well as other characteristics that may not be so commendable. Rats are very lively and need a lot of mental and physical stimulation. They can be calm and perceptive, but sometimes their brains can cause a mental restlessness, tempting them to take on too much, only to discover they are unable to meet their commitments. Rats are blessed with one of the best intellects going. Add to their intelligence a curiosity and a bright imagination, and they seem as sharp as a needle.The sign of the Rat is the first sign in the cycle giving Rat people exude great leadership qualities and are good at taking the lead. They don't mind a lot of responsibility and they demonstrate a strong presence that other people respect. For those with the Rat nature, status and monetary satisfaction are the greatest motivation. (I am talented! Yeah...not too sure what I want.. too many things in head.. confusion.. confusion... Status and monetary... oh yes! I think that is me.. lol..)

Detailed Description of The Wood Rat
Despite having a remarkable facade of self-confidence, deep down, Wood Rats are the least sure of themselves compared to other Rats. However, they wouldn't dream of showing this side of themselves to anyone. Only close companions of a Wood Rat would ever suspect that he or she had such self-doubt. In fact Wood Rats are often worried about downfall, despite their ability to find success. Well-liked, proficient, and good leaders at work, Wood Rats seem to function best when they are surrounded by family and friends. Cordial and delicate, they are usually well loved by family, friends and peers (Of course everyone loves me... :-) )

The joke of the year 2008

And now I present to you the joke of the year 2008... " my college convocation". Gosh, thinking about this year convocation really made me laugh. As part of the college administrator, I would pity the so called management or maybe the convocation committee. As part of the college student, I can't help but laugh at the convocation committee. Ths is the lousiest convocation that I had ever during my employment here. It was never been humilated as how it was now. Why would I say this? This is because of the late minute changing venue, messy arrangement, last minute invitation letter and no official announcement to the staff about the changing of the venue. Everything was in total messed!
Who to blame in this case? I guess I would said it's the convocation committee. At the first place, they should have consulted the students about what they want. Well, it's the student's convocation. Not theirs' convocation. So why make a drastic and radical planning when they knew that it will never be accepted by students. Like what the owner of the college said, students are the customers. If they can't fulfill or understand the needs of the customers, then they failed. I still do not understand why they would do that. After all those flying emails here and there, they still insisted that students are the minorities. Hallo?? Minorities? Let's do a counting.. how many staffs are in the college and how many students are in the college? How could someone said that. Gosh... that person really made everyone pissed off at her. And you still expect people to respect you after all these? Oh, perhaps that person should forget it and leave. Thanks to the owner of the college, he is much more understanding. I like the idea that he put them in... "BN loses because they never listen to the Rakyat". So listen to what we want, not what you want. It has been a tradition that convocation should be held in a hotel. It had been our college tradition. It's not that we do not love our college, but this is once in a lifetime opportunity. Of course we want it to be great and prestige. You can called us shallow minded, but this is who we are.
After a long "debate and emailing", it finally changed. The venue was relocated to a nice five stars hotel in KL. Finally, someone listened to us. Thank you. If the committee could understand and think from the students' side, all these ugly moments will never happen. The committee can still proudly walk to the stage on that day of the event. Now, they had lose the "war". All the pride and respect has gone. It will never happen if you care for the students. Now, everything has to be dismantled. Whatever preparation done, must be changed and abolished. Waste of efforts, money and time. Pls cut costs! Do not spend unnecessarily. I think the college's management got the slap right to their face now. And I am writing this when I am still a student now. Graduand of year 2009! We will definitely going to make the management take our wants seriously. We do not want a miserable and all last minute convocation... We deserve more than that... :)

My First Toastmaster's speech

Finally, it's over... my first toastmaster's speech. The title of my speech was All I have in year 2008. Basically it was about the major events that had taken place in my life during year 2008. Oh well, it was supposed to be a icebreaking speech. I shared with the rest about my proudest moment, the craziest things that I had done this year, the sad part and also the frustrating part. Let me elaborate some here too.
My proudest moment would be the fashion fiesta 2008. I shared with the audience about what happened during the process of completing the whole show and how my models made me proud on the stage that night. It was the best event that HICT ever had.
The craziest things that I had done was the Singapore Airlines's interview. The moment I said this out, my president, Mr. Victor had his laughter. Yeah, I know it sounded impossible. Shireen Ng went for SIA's interview? Joke of the month! But thanks to that someone, I still gave it a tried. Although it did not went well, I am glad that I took up the challenge. Thinking back I still do not know from where my courage came from.
My sad part would be I am graduating soon. Actually I can't wait anymore longer for it. It has been so many years that I am still called a student. Student... assignments...tests... and exams. Ugh.. I am kinda bored with them now. Still thinking if I should continue my master later in future. Anyway, coming back... graduation also mean I am going to leave all my friends and some of them had left for good. Never know when we will meet up again or maybe never for life. After all those craziest times we spent together, it was a heartaching thinking that everyone is going own their own way now.
And finally the frustrating part. When that moment I spoke the sentence from my mouth, " ..it was the repainting of the student lounge room", everyone was "... ohhh". I bet they must felt angry inside for me being mean. Oh well, I was frustrated and it was my speech. I do not care if they were. Stop me if they can... lol... anyway, it was past and I am fine now. Victor came to me after that and apologized for it. Oh... it was a lil late, don't he? Haha...

Overall my speech was fine. I was complimented but of course there were mistakes too. Just have to take them up and make use of them next time. I still thinking now if I should quit this Toastmaster. Kinda boring but it will definitely benefits me. Thinking.. still thinking... hmmm

Twilight - Breaking Dawn

"Twilight tempted the imagination. New Moon made readers thirsty for more. Eclipse turned the saga into a worldwide phenomenon. And now, the book that everyone has been waiting for...
Breaking Dawn, the final book in the #1 bestselling Twilight Saga, will take your breath away. "
-MPH Online.com-

This book is the last book of the Twilight series. The funny thing was I do not know that this is a series book. I just bought the last book and started reading it until my friend told me that it is a series. Well, after reading half of the book, I wouldn't care much but continued reading it. The more I read, the more exciting I got. The words... the plot... the climax... just tempted me to finish them asap. A vampire and a human were in love. Love that is extraordinary than a human love. Oh, Edward the vampire... such a perfect character. He was described to be smart, good looking, loving and perfect. Gosh, how I wish to be Bella. I wouldn't mind being turned into a vampire for Edward. This last book was about Edward Cullen and Bella Swan getting ready for their marriage life. And how Bella was ready to be transformed into a vampire for the sake of staying together with Edward. Before she was transformed, she found herself pregnant! Human with a vampire? How could that be? The misery and climax started from there. An immortal child, they called it. It was forbidden and must be destroyed. The Cullens family must protect the child from harm. even if they have to sacrifice their life. A very good book. Finally, I finished reading them after 5 days. A book worth reading if you enjoy fiction and magical phenomenon.

Thanks for the memories

"Lose yourself in the magical new novel from the No.1 bestselling author of PS I Love You How can you know someone you've never met? Joyce Conway remembers things she shouldn't. She knows about tiny cobbled streets in Paris, which she has never visited. And every night she dreams about an unknown little girl with blonde hair. Justin Hitchcock is divorced, lonely and restless. He arrives in Dublin to give a lecture on art and meets an attractive doctor, who persuades him to donate blood. It's the first thing to come straight from his heart in a long time. When Joyce leaves hospital after a terrible accident, with her life and her marriage in pieces, she moves back in with her elderly father. All the while, a strong sense of deja vu is overwhelming her and she can't figure out why !"

- MPHonline.com-

The reason why I decided to share this book is because I love the magical love between Joyce and Justin. Imagine one day you wake up and realised that you can speak some other languages that you never even know about it, you began to appreciate things that you don't even have any knowledge about them, you can feel someone's thought and feeling when you don't even know who is that. This is a fiction book where can bring me to my wonderland. Two different people from two far different places are connected though a blood tranfusion. How Joyce experiences Justin's feeling and thought and past. It would be so wonderful to have someone that actually know what you thinking, feeling and want. And this reminded me of a movie by Mel Gibson where he have the special ability to hear what women are thinking inside their mind. It's pretty cool huh... How I wish I could have that ability...